Warning To Bloggers: Philadelphia Hates You. Will Other Cities & States Follow?

This caught my eye and may one day be the future for all of us...

Philadelphia is requiring bloggers who have received any revenue at all from their writing to obtain a business license from the city for $300, and then pay taxes on any profits made as well. One blogger earned $11 in two years; another $50.

Photo courtesy of OC Register,
unless they lifted it from someone else

While many bloggers are caught up in the net neutrality debate taking shape in front of our eyes, if this catches on it may be the next big thing in a few years. I don't know how many blogs are currently active in America, but wiki says there are at least 112 million (I assume worldwide).

I understand that cities, counties, and states are all swimming in debt, and will leave no stone unturned in an attempt to increase revenue. Hell, California is about to legalize marijuana, mainly for the tax revenue.  Surely the logical thing is to place a minimum threshold, say $1000 a year in revenue, for the business license requirement. Although enforcement would be tricky, and even at $1000 a year that is a 30% tax, which is excessive.

If this grows, it will be interesting to watch, as it will become a political issue, with Republicans railing against any taxation of small business & saying services should be cut and Democrats saying revenue should be increased to pay for services rather than cutting them. Same old tired story, but it will be interesting to watch, as it would also dovetail with the whole net neutrality debate currently raging. Add to that the sheer absurdity of it, which is right up there with the Reagan administration attempting to label ketchup a vegetable, and we could be in for some fun. I could see it becoming a red state/blue state thing: if you live in Georgia, I cannot see you ever having to deal with this, but I could totally see California trying it.

I look forward to watching Orson Swindle's interview on Hardball With Chris Matthews sometime in 2012, where he is in split screen with Arianna Huffington. Maybe that will be the trigger for the Mayan apocalypse.

We've Got 5 Super Bowls Bitch

I went to my first 49ers game today with and courtesy of my friend Dana Dane, who hooked us up with free tickets and a parking pass. The sun was out for a change and it was very nice:

The view from section 15

I won't bore you with my impressions of Candlestick, I'll just cut to the chase.

This is by far the greatest thing we saw all day, and possibly ever at a football game... 

Don't attempt a retort; there isn't one.

...and that is before you consider that 8 year olds are wearing them.

Not only that- as Dana Dane pointed out, the shirts did not look new, which means they probably got them when they were 6.

Even better, they weren't just standing there for our amusement; they were *hustlin'* Rick Ross style. They had boxes of candy bars that kids have to sell for school or sports team or Boy Scouts or whatever, and they set up shop just outside the gate. As people streamed out of the gate, they shouted "Candy bars...one dollar! If you buy a candy bar we'll breakdance for you!!!"

The cherry on top of this sundae is that when I got home I googled both the T-shirt and the phrase, and it quickly became clear that you cannot buy these shirts anywhere- they are CUSTOM.

WIN.

University Of Georgia AV Chickens Come Home to Roost

In 1998 Virginia Tech was 5-0 and thinking National Championship when they inexplicably lost at home to Temple as 35 point favorites after leading 17-0 at the half. Afterwards Va Tech defensive end Corey Moore famously said, "we're the laughingstock of college football right now, and deservedly so."

Well today it is us Georgia Bulldogs who are the deserved laughingstock. Damn. Just, damn.

1. This is what happens when your allegedly great school turns out Junior High School AV Club quality 30 second commercials that are played during NCAA football games year after year after year. Clearly a case of chickens coming home to roost.

2. Holy shit, perhaps I was a bit off in my analysis of The Princeton Review on-site reviewers. What if they named UGA the #1 party school based on this video?

3. It just got a hell of a lot harder to ever make fun of Georgia Tech. Granted, they massively outweigh us in the quantity department, but in the quality department this is up there with anything they have done, if not worse.

4. These orientation leaders make my orientation leaders from summer of 1992 look like the Hells Angels. I'm just glad these were not my orientation leaders back then, or I may well have immediately withdrawn and gone to another school.


This makes the cast of "Glee" look like Genghis Khan & his army

Let's be clear: this is NOT International Bad Line stuff. This is a boat that sinks just west of the 180 degree latitude marker and will rest there for all eternity- as bad as bad can get without becoming IBL bad--->good.

Anyone embarrassed by the recent #1 party school in America designation needs to seriously check themselves- this is the most embarrassing thing to happen to UGA since the Jan Kemp affair.

(h/t to Orson Swindle for bringing this to my attention)

Paul The Octopus. Most Famous Animal In Germany

***Update*** Spain 1-0 Germany. Paul is now 6 for 6 in WC2010 and 10-1 overall. Somebody get this squid to Vegas.

If you're American and have had a child in the last 10 years, then you know who Henry The Octopus is. But do you know about Paul The Octopus? Paul is a captive octopus in Germany who has been picking winners of Germany matches since Euro 2008. His overall record since starting in Euro 2008 is 9-1, and he is a perfect 5 for 5 in this World Cup, even correctly predicting their loss to Serbia.

His only "loss"? He predicted Germany to beat Spain in the final of Euro 2008, which as we all know Spain won.

In the last 24 hours the world has noticed that Germany is buzzing with word that Paul has picked Spain to beat Germany today, and due to his track record some are despondent.



However, those rooting for Germany should not despair- Paul could simply be employing what my friend Drew calls the "reverse jinx", and maybe his pick against Germany is strategic considering his only "loss" involved the Euro 2008 final between these two teams, and means that there is some voodoo going on which we cannot understand which in the end will see Germany through to the final.

Not Dead.

One of the beautiful things about naming your blog "Dodgy At Best" is that people can't really say shit to you. You think my writing sucks? Well just look at the title- it's right there and as clear a disclaimer as one could ask for.

Haven't updated in over a month? Again, all you have to do is look up to the top of the page. Dodgy. At. Best. Duh.

Work has been mondo insano lately, but at long last it finally appears as if the powers that be are going to once again staff the office at the necessary level to make remotely possible keeping up with the work load. Plus I'm moving, and a bunch of other shit going on as well.

So once the cavalry comes to the rescue I should once again have a little free time to frolic about here on a more regular basis.

Really hoping that is sooner than later, I'd really like to knock out the "Tim Tebow: Myth vs. Reality" piece that I've been wanting to write since mid-last season. One can hope...

I resolve to be back in some form or fashion in the next week or two. Until then, I hope all is well with the 4 of you who still look over here from time to time.

Theo Leads Dawgs In Championship Game Tonight

Georgia plays Fresno State today at 4 p.m. EST {ESPN} in the final championship game at the College World Series to determine the 2008 national championship.

I'm not a college baseball head, but I have enjoyed following the Dawgs playoff run and as good as it's been Fresno State's cinderella run has been even more amazing. Should be a great finish to the season, tournament, and College World Series.

Win or lose, Bulldogs will be champions.

But forget all that. No matter what happens, it is plainly obvious to me that Gordon Beckham, Georgia best player, all time HR king, and 1st round draft pick, is actually Theo from MTVs Road Rules.

Don't believe me?

Here's "Gordon" giving you some backstage access to Georgia Baseball:



OK, now although I can't find any footage from Road Rules featuring Theo from New Orleans, here is some more recent footage from Theo, who apparently is now a comic:



The defense rests. QEDMF.

Apologies

Apologies for the radio silence. When work/life gets really busy this is the first thing that gets sacrificed. Both have been on tilt a bit the past two weeks.

Feeling a day of hard work writing coming on. The procrastinator in me knows this is my last chance to talk about the Belmont and Euro 2008 before they begin.

Back in a bit.

Happy Bay To Breakers Day

The list of things that I will get up at 6 a.m. on a Sunday morning to do, that aren't "to watch an Arsenal or World Cup" match, is a pretty damn short list. In fact, there's only 1 thing I can think of, and it's this morning: Bay To Breakers.

If you don't know what that is, then here two chances to learn up, the explanation and recap of the 2005 B2B as well as the 2006 B2B recap.

We're off to Market St to get our tortilla, mimosa, and walk on.

Happy Sunday.

Six Figures

Sometime last night this place welcomed it's 100,000th page view, which means that in a little more than 2 short years I was able to accomplish something that Orson Swindle knocks out every 4 or 5 days. Not bad.

In all seriousness, I just wanted to say thanks to the tens of y'all who stop by, read, and contribute to the back & forth in the comments. You make it significantly more fun than if no one stopped by at all.

As long as we all remember that this truly is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Happy Weekend and I'll see you around the bend.

SF: Clusterfuck Champions Of The Universe Ride Again

If anyone is still intersted, you can follow all of the post-farce finger-pointing and blame assigning here.

So there wasn't anything for me to go see after all, as the impromptu, on the fly, last minute changes saw the torch go out towards the bridge then high tail it down to the airport and get the hell out of town, leaving me as well as about 10,000 others with nothing to see after all.

What a joke.

No biggie for me, as I just watched on local TV with their coverage and helicopter cams, waiting to see if they would indeed come back to the planned finishing ceremony location by the Ferry Bldg. It never happened, I stayed near work, no biggie. Hell, I've seen the torch before, as up close and personal as you can get, but it would have been awesome to walk down and see the spectacle of the mass protest first hand. But I really and truly feel sorry for the thousands of people who came out to see the torch. Many people flew here from all around the US and brought their kids just to see the torch, and they got royally shafted by our wanna-be superhero doofus mayor and his massive ego.

I basically agree with everything said here about yesterday's fiasco.

Basically the Free Tibet folks succeeded in bringing lots of attention to their cause, and basically scaring the mayor and the event out of town. And the mayor was a fool {as usual} as well- if they were going to run away like pussies then they should have just canceled the whole thing, not told 10,000 people that they were going to do it and then run away scared because they didn't plan properly to have enough police on the scene.

An embarrassment for SF: certainly not the first, and won't be the last. I'm sure Hannity, O'Really?, Rush et al all had massive erections yesterday that will probably stay good and hard for the rest of the week. And John Stewart writers and the staff at The Onion as well, although theirs will most likely soften and they'll move on after a day of well deserved snark.

Good luck, Buenos Aires, the hot potato is now in your hands.

Lastly, why give a flying fuck about the Olympic Torch relay at all?

SF To Be In Next Nike Ad: "Our Protest Is Better Than Your Protest"

Follow all the Olympic torch relay shenanigans at SFGate and local CBS today.

Considering what happened in London and Paris in the last few days, SF knows that is has to step up its game. Hell, protesters in Paris forced the authorities to extinguish the flame, get on a bus, and drive the rest of the route to the finish. FRANCE did that. So SF needs to step up, and all indications are that they are up to the challenge.

Saturday, 4 days out:
Human Rights Torch Relay through SF
protest in downtown SF draws a few hundred people

Monday, 3 days out:
dudes sneak out onto the Golden Gate Bridge with all their gear concealed in baby carriages, climb up the support wires of the Golden Gate Bridge, and hand two massive banners on the bridge itself before finally being forced down and arrested.

Tuesday, 1 day out:
Olympic Flame is flown into SF at 4 a.m.

IOC considers stopping the torch relay

1,000 - 2,000 protest at UN Plaza, City Hall, shut down streets, etc.

Tuesday night:
Candlelight vigil at UN Plaza draws several thousand, Archbishop Desmond Tutu {and Richard Gere!!!} speaks

Today the relay was supposed to start at 1 p.m. PST. It didn't, rumors are swirling. SFPD has confirmed that the route will be shortened from 6 miles to 3 miles, and that runners will hold the torch in pairs. But no routes have been announced, and no one knows where the torch is or where it will be going, as thousands of fans and protesters line the now old route.

In the last 10 minutes differing local news reports have 1) the torch being put on a boat at McCovery Cove and driven via water to the final site at Justin Herman Plaza, bypassing the route altogether 2) the torch has been moved to a warehouse near Pier 48 and that some new but unknown route is going to happen.

So thousands of people are in the streets, tons of helicopters are overhead, all the local news stations are in full OJ coverage mode, we're an hour in and nothing has happened, and no one has any idea what is going on or where the torch is or may or may not go.

A classically wacky SF day, where we will turn this into an enormous clusterfuck and the world can sit back and roll their eyes and laugh at our silly wackiness.

You can keep up with the circus with live craptastic local SF news coverage here.

I'm going down to the Ferry Bldg/Embarcadero in a little bit to soak it all in a bit.

More later...

Things To Do In The Off Season, Florida Edition: Make Killer Jorts

The college football off season is a long haul, which leaves time for projects both big and small.

If you are a University Of Florida fan, the list of offseason project begin and ends with: makin' jorts.

To help out, here is a handy presentation called "How To Make Killer Jorts"



Not much else to say, is there?

5 Words You Don't Often See Together: F1, President, Nazi, Hooker, Orgy

Again:
F1
President
Nazi
Hooker
Orgy

Any two or, hell, maybe even 3 of those words you might see together, but not all five.

I'm not much into auto racing, but I couldn't not investigate this headline further:

F1 President in Nazi Hooker Orgy

Wow.

Some of the better lines from the story:

At one point during the video, the man yells "she needs more of ze punishment!" while brandishing a leather strap over a woman's bottom before striking her with it and counting in German, as other women in Nazi-style uniforms look on.

Formula One chief executive Bernie Ecclestone said the sport shouldn't be affected by the report.

"Assuming it's all true, what people do privately is up to them," Ecclestone told the Times in a story posted late Sunday on its Web site. "Knowing Max it might be all a bit of a joke."

Of course, what a funny joke! I was just thinking the other day that nothing says comedy quite like doing and orgiastic Nazi role play with 5 hookers. Now that's funny!

To recap: ummm, Wow.

Easter Sunday Peep Show

Received email with subject line "Peep Show" from Bonita, and it must be shared, so here you go.


How ballin' ass semi toxic marshmallows celebrate the resurrection.

Happy Easter for those that are so inclined.

p.s.- if you are offended by this, the best course of action would be to leave these parts and never return. Apologies and Godspeed.

Happy Weekend

I'm off to Vegas to take in the madness and hang out with the cool kids in school, Swindle, P Bizzle, Miss Holly, and whoever else rolls through. Should be interesting, as I have been sick all week, and Vegas wears you down to a raw nub in about 48 hours when you go there at 100%; it's about the worst place I can think of in the {first} world to be sick. Oh well, I'll just have to man up.

No updates, but we're all Twitter dorks so the sidebar on the left should be happening {if you click on the header you get me and them, not just me}.

Oh, and Happy Easter to those who are so inclined to celebrate, whether it be by giving thanks and praise or racing down Lombard Street on a bigwheel with all your friends, which sadly is having to move away from Lombard after 7 years there because it has gotten too big.


2007 Bring Your Own Big Wheel race down Lombard St.

Have a great weekend, whatever you get into.

Georgia Tech Golfer Kills Hawk With Golf Ball By Mistake On Purpose

Georgia Tech alum Tripp Isenhour repeatedly shot golf balls at, and finally drilled and killed, a protected species of hawk that was bothering him while he filmed a golf show in Florida in December.

The now standard contradictory description of events...

The 39-year-old player, whose real name is John Henry Isenhour III, became angry while filming "Shoot Like A Pro" on Dec. 12 at the Grand Cypress Golf Club when a squawking red-shouldered hawk roughly 300 yards away forced another take.

He drove closer to the bird in his golf cart and starting hitting balls at it. The bird didn't move and Isenhour gave up and drove away. Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report.

Isenhour allegedly said, "I'll get him now," and aimed for the hawk. "About the sixth ball came very near the bird's head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close," Baine wrote. A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils.

... and statement released by the athlete through his agency:

"As soon as this happened, I was mortified and extremely upset and continue to be upset," Isenhour said in a statement issued through his management company, SFX Golf. "I want to let everyone know there was neither any malice nor deliberate intent whatsoever to hit or harm the hawk. I was trying to simply scare it into flying away."

"We ask that everyone accept my sincerest apology, and please be respectful of my family's privacy," he said.

Looks like a Mike Vick-ish discrepancy there.

Tripp Isenhour, you're a douche.


The bird was said to have become emboldened and less afraid of interaction with humans after hovering closely over several Georgia Tech football practices in Atlanta a few years back and watching Reggie Ball's repeated failed attempts to hit it with a football.


Doesn't kill protected birds.
Only kills GT fans hopes and dreams of beating Georgia.

New Look

Now that I finally sorted out getting links back to opening in a new tab/window {sorry- personal preference}, I think I have everything sorted with the new layout, with the exception of it not letting me load a pic into the header background, but that is pretty minor and I'll take the time to figure it out eventually {or maybe not}.

In addition to finally upgrading to the new Blogger platform, the third column allowed me to add some new features, such as my twitter feed, my personal 100 song jukebox from ProjectPlaylist { you can make your own and embed in blogger, myspace, facebook, etc}, and recent comments.

Apparently the page looks shit in IE7. I hate IE and had only looked at the page in Firefox and Safari, which both look great. I looked at it in IE6 and it's ok {although way less clean and tight than either Firefox or Safari}. Sorry, but it's likely that I won't take the time to install crappy ass IE7 on my PC and spend the time to figure out how to make it pretty in IE7 any time soon. Maybe some day if I'm stuck overnight at an airport or something, but no time soon.

Sorry for the inconvenience over the last few days.

Feel Good Friday: Tecmo Bowl Edition

Remember this???


Even better than "rubble-ribble"
*note: that's Tecmo Super Bowl above; they didn't have the original on the youtubes :(

If you're +/- 5 years of my age, then this was one of the crowning achievements of your youth: Tecmo Bowl, in all of it's 8-bit beauty. Ahh the memories... Jack Trudeau's super slow ass rainbow lobs, hearing "Ready! Down! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!" while you switched to your preferred dude on defense 100 times in 15 minutes, halftime leads of 70-0, all of it.

Many thanks to SMQ for taking me down memory lane and reminding me how wonderful this game was with this video of what has to be the greatest TD run in Tecmo Bowl history:



That's Bo Jackso, one of the 2 uber-legends of the game, who was simply programmed to be that much better than anyone else to where he could do anything. He'll always be Bo Jackso because my old ass TV when I was a kid cut off his name when it was in the upper right {I played against him more than with him}. The other legend of course, was LT, who got an extra few lines of coke from the programmers which made him unfair fast- in fact, he was really the only one who could stop Bo Jackso.

Me? I liked playing with the 49ers, because by the quirks of the programming of the game, the crossing pattern to Roger Craig was simply uninterceptable {-ible? guess it doesn't matter when you are making up your own words} and with them I was damn near invincible.

This last vid made me think of how much more fun it would have been, in a different way, had it come out when I was an adult that when I was a kid, as Tecmo Bowl pretty much predated F-bombs for me:



I think the next time I am back at Club Mom & Dad the NES is coming out.

Cote D'Ivoire Isn't Camelot; It's Sir Mix-A-Lot

"Well, hello..."

Before Tuesday I already liked the Ivory Coast just fine- a French speaking African nation full of friendly people who are also soccer mad and have one of the best teams in all of Africa, including Arsenal players Kolo Toure, whom I love and Emmanuel Eboue, whom I tolerate. Hell everybody loved them after they were the feel good story at the 2006 World Cup when ESPN hired Bono to tell us how their qualification for their first ever World Cup led to a cease fire in their civil war.

Well now it's safe to say that I full-on *love* the Ivory Coast after learning of their recent and fervent celebration of the big round booty.


Good, better, best

It's called "Bobaraba" which literally means 'big bottom', and is a hit song and dance craze from 2007 that is still going strong. Even the Ivory Coast national soccer team were doing it during goal celebrations at this year's African Cup Of Nations, which seems rather a propos when you consider that the French word for 'goal' is 'but'.


Les Elephants dansent le bobaraba apres un but

It is a dance/celebration for both men and women, although of course the women are getting the lion's elephant's share of attention. That being said, it is being pushed as less misogynistic and more empowering by the group who made the song:

"There are women today with large bottoms who are embarrassed, so it's to say don't be ashamed - be comfortable"


Way better than the bookends on my bookshelf

Anyhow, here's the video:




I can't help but think that I'd really like to see Serena, in the catsuit, doing this dance.

{big time HT to DC Trojan and something called Twitter, which appears to be a sort of love child of blogging and instant messaging}

Valentine's Day: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

My thoughts haven't changed about VD {or Valentine's Day, either...}, and I still highly recommend my advice to y'all from last year: Fuck Dr. Phil, this is worth a minute of your time for sure.

The Good
Perhaps my favorite band these days, Slightly Stoopid {if you liked Sublime: Sublime begat Long Beach Dub All Stars; LBAS begat Slightly Stoopid}, are opening their spring tour right here in SF. Tonight. Even better, a Santa Cruz stoner band still on the verge of blowin' up, The Expendables, are opening. They are great, and even more a propos, they have the most romantic stoner song of all time, "Bowl For Two". What better way to escape the bullshit of Valentine's Day than go see two awesome stoner bands in concert?

The Bad
Not only do I have Spanish class tonight, pero tengo un examen gigante esta noche. So no concert for me. Oh well, I'll see them again next time. Fuck.

The Ugly
My goofy ass. But I just remind myself that's just a testament to how much game I have ;)

I'll leave you with the only cool thing about Valentine's Day: Andre 3000's funky-ass, cupid impersonating take on it:



And remember, if you love someone, then fuck Valentine's Day- you should be doing random thoughtful sweet shit for them on May 12th, August 3rd, October 27th, and various other random and frequent times throughout the year, not on the 1 day that society reminds lazy men to do so, and Valentine's Day should be banished to its proper place: irrelevance.