Cote D'Ivoire Isn't Camelot; It's Sir Mix-A-Lot

"Well, hello..."

Before Tuesday I already liked the Ivory Coast just fine- a French speaking African nation full of friendly people who are also soccer mad and have one of the best teams in all of Africa, including Arsenal players Kolo Toure, whom I love and Emmanuel Eboue, whom I tolerate. Hell everybody loved them after they were the feel good story at the 2006 World Cup when ESPN hired Bono to tell us how their qualification for their first ever World Cup led to a cease fire in their civil war.

Well now it's safe to say that I full-on *love* the Ivory Coast after learning of their recent and fervent celebration of the big round booty.


Good, better, best

It's called "Bobaraba" which literally means 'big bottom', and is a hit song and dance craze from 2007 that is still going strong. Even the Ivory Coast national soccer team were doing it during goal celebrations at this year's African Cup Of Nations, which seems rather a propos when you consider that the French word for 'goal' is 'but'.


Les Elephants dansent le bobaraba apres un but

It is a dance/celebration for both men and women, although of course the women are getting the lion's elephant's share of attention. That being said, it is being pushed as less misogynistic and more empowering by the group who made the song:

"There are women today with large bottoms who are embarrassed, so it's to say don't be ashamed - be comfortable"


Way better than the bookends on my bookshelf

Anyhow, here's the video:




I can't help but think that I'd really like to see Serena, in the catsuit, doing this dance.

{big time HT to DC Trojan and something called Twitter, which appears to be a sort of love child of blogging and instant messaging}

World Cup Final: Random Thoughts / Open Thread

I'm off to Dolores Park in SF this morning, where they are showing the match on a giant TV screen. Should be fun, especially since I am going with a group that will include my good friend A7, a proud Italian-American and fan of the Azzurri. We'll both be rocking blue jerseys but that is where the similarities will end: his will be Puma and have 3 stars (1934, 1938, 1982) while mine will be Adidas and have 1 star (1998). By the end of the match one of our jerseys will be obsolete. So no liveblogging today; I'll write up my comments tonight, probably after I watch the replay on Telefutura. Enjoy the match and Allez Les Bleus!

Italy-France
These two teams have a considerable soccer history with one another. The last two meetings were perhaps the most famous: in the 1998 World Cup quarterfinal these two played a scoreless 120 minutes before France knocked Italy out on penalty kicks. The last time they met was the final of Euro 2000, which was one of the best international matches of the last decade and maybe the best international match I have ever seen. Italy went up 1-0 on a beautiful goal, dominated much of the match, and should have been up 2-0 or 3-0 but missed a few great chances. At the end of the match, 3 minutes of extra time were added on. Literally in the final 20 seconds of extra time, Sylvain Wiltord scored a great left footed equalizer, and they went to extra time, where Pires made a great move and crossed for Trezeguet who volleyed home a left footed golden goal (sudden death rule that is no longer used) to turn certain defeat into a European Chamionship. This spawned perhaps the greatest sports taunt/joke I have ever heard, told to me 3rd hand from (originally) a Parisien:

"How do you put the cork back into a champagne bottle?"

"Dunno. How?"

"Ask the Italians."

Excellent video highlights of the match here and here.

Many of the same players today, so France will have the confidence from that match while Italy will see today as an opportunity to get revenge for the one that got away.

Zidane's last match, which you will hear ad nauseum I'm sure. And while he played the best match of any player in the tournament against Brasil in the quarterfinal, it is Vieira and Thuram who have been the consistent rocks of the team throughout the tournament, with Zidane and Henry (and Ribery too) intermittently showing their flashes of brilliance.


France is really damn good.

You know I'm no fan of Italy, but I must praise them for a few things. First, they haven't played too much traditional catennacio defend at all costs. I have especially been suprised at how much their fullbackks have gone forward, especially Grosso and Zambrotta, who have been imitating Cafu, Roberto Carlos, or Ashley Cole at times. Also, the traditional Italian stereotype is defend at all costs and then score on the counterattack with 1 to 3 main threats. Well in this World Cup it is very impressive that they have had 10 different players score a goal, which is an all time WC record. So 11 goals scored by 10 different players, and 3 different defenders scoring is definitely not the traditional Italian soccer template.


So is Italy.

These are the two best defensive teams in the tournament. Italy still have not conceded a goal to another team. Through 6 matches the only goal they gave up was an own goal in the US match. France have been almost as great. They have conceded 2 goals through 6 matches: 1 penalty kick against Spain, and a complete howler by mistake-prone Barthez which gifted a goal to South Korea. Both defenses have been anchored by respective rocks Cannavaro for Italy and Thuram for France.

The midfields are both great. Interesting battles will be Vieira trying to shut down Italy's offensive midfielders (Totti, Pirlo) and Gattuso trying to shut down France's offensice midfielders (Zidane, Ribery) .

Up front will be Thierry Henry and Luca Toni. Henry was the top goalscorer again last year in the Premiership, while Toni was the top goalscorer in Italy's Serie A and I believe all of Europe as well (I think Henry might have been 2nd in Europe).

All three of the aforementioned aspects (defense, midfield, strikers) are pretty damn even. That brings us to goalkeepers, where Italy have a massive advantage. Italy's Buffon is a rock, and I rate him as one of the 3 best keepers in the tournament and the world right now (Cech, Mats). France's Barthez is prone to two things: occasional world class saves (and a penchant for saving penalties) as well as occasional blunders. He also has a terrible habit of punching or blocking the ball when he could easily catch it (or serving up volleyball sets for opposing strikers). Basically every time the ball goes into him you have the fear that he might have one of his howlers and gift the other team a goal; with Buffon there are no such fears.

Based on the teams being so even except in goal where Italy are way better, I have to say that I would give the advantage to Italy and that in my mind it seems more likely that they will win. However, this is a veteran France team who have won a World Cup and a European Championship, so they are supremely confident in their ability to win this match on the world's biggest stage. They also have in Zidane and Henry two players capable of a moment of magic that can produce a goal, which might be all that is needed to win this game.


"But" is the French word for goal.
Will we see one today?

With these two amazing defenses it is hard to imagine a high scoring game, or even a game with more than one goal. I could totally see the defenses cancelling out the offenses, with the result being a 1-0 match or even a scoreless one that goes to extra time and then penalties.

So what happens? My brain says 1-0 Italy but my heart says 1-0 France with Vieira getting the goal. I'll be rocking my Euro 2000 France jersey at Dolores Park hoping for the latter. Enjoy. Allez Les Bleus! Et Allez Paddy et Titi aussi!

Italy 1-1 France. a.e.t. (PSO 5-3).
Italy are World Champions.

Just finished watching the replay. It's midnight, and I'm exhausted. Thoughts & pics tomorrow by 9 a.m. PST.

Contratulations Azzurri.

3rd Place Match: Day 24 Random Thoughts / Open Thread

Germany-Portugal
Today's match is probably the most irrelevant game in all of sport. Imagine, if you will, the losers of the AFC & NFC Championship playing a game the week before the Super Bowl. There you go: that's what we have here. I really don't understand whey they even play this match anymore (other then $$$ of course); both teams are deflated at having been eliminated, they are tired, and their minds have already shifted to having the next 2-3 weeks off before starting the new season with their club teams. It's not even like the Olympics where the match must be played to award a bronze medal - I just don't get it. I can tell you the last 3 sets of semifinalists: Turkey/South Korea, Holland/Croatia, and Sweden/Romania, but I can't tell you who finished 3rd or 4th in any of them without looking it up.


She perfectly encapsullates the 3rd place match:
Not thrilled to be here, but still worth watching.

That being said, I'll still watch it. Although not really exciting by definition, this year's 3rd place match will be somewhat exciting/interesting mainly because the host nation are in it so the fans will be very enthusiastic, and for German fans it is a 90 minute curtian call for them to shower their team with thanks and praise for doing so well. For Portugal this will be the end of the road for a bunch of players as far as their international careers. They have 7 players on their team who are age 29 or older, so it is hard to see any of them making it to World Cup 2010, although a few may make it to Euro 2008 if Portugal qualify. Most notable in this group is Luis Figo: this will most likely be the last match he ever plays for Portugal.


This match would be more interesting
if she were somehow involved.

Both teams may very well tinker with their lineups, because truth be told this isn't much more than a glorified exhibition match. Portugal, as I said, are an older team, so Scolari might give a match to some younger players who have not played thusfar, to give them some experience with and eye on the future. Germany are a very young team, but Klinsmann might do the same thing: try a new player to give him experience and see what he might be able to do during qualifying for Euro 2008, which starts in the fall. One notable substitution will be in the German goal, where Mats has honorably stepped aside so that his rival Oliver Kahn can play in this match, which will likely be his final match for Germany. Nice gesture by Mats, especially considering the fact that over the last 4 years the two have pretty much openly hated each other and often not even spoken to each other at times. In that regard it will be a little bit like a testimonial match for Kahn, then legendary German keeper for so many years.

The only other thing to note about this match is that the 3rd place match tends to be very open and high scoring, because again it is basically consequence free. Another note of interest is the race for the Golden Boot, the award given to the top scorer of the tournament. Miroslav Klose leads with 5, with Lukas Podolski with 3 and Thierry Henry with 3. It's tough to see TH12 netting a hat trick tomorrow, so it looks like the award is Klose's unless Podolski gets 2 goals today. If Klose can net 1 then he is probably home free.

One other note is that the inaugural Young Player Award was handed out yesterday: it is a new award given to the best player in the tournament who was under 21 as of Jan. 1, 2006. Germany's Podolski won the award and C Ronaldo finished 2nd, and they should both play today. Ronaldo was booed every time he touched the ball in the semifinal even before he started in with the Greg Louganis impersonations, so look for more of the same today.

That's about it; I can really get into discussing strategy, tactics, etc., etc., since like I said this is a glorified exhibition match. I would guess that Germany have much more at stake and will really want to put in a good performance in front of their home fans, so I'll pick them to win. Score? Hmmm, they have scored lots of goals and Portugal haven't, so I'll go with Germany 3-1 Portugal. Enjoy.

Germany 3-1 Portugal.
Portugal didn't play poorly, but Germany were dominant, rampant, and thoroughly deserved their win. Their first & third goals by Bastian Schweinsteiger were wonderful, the third one particularly, and Portugal pulled back a nice one with a Nuno Gomes divingheader from a Luis Figo cross. I was actually on ESPN because my Univision was screwed up today, and I was starting to think "hey, JP Dellacamra is doing a good job today" until he referred to Nuno as "Goames" about 50 times instead of "Go-mezz" which is dudes name. Horrible, horrible stuff from their best soccer announcer who has been calling soccer matches for 20+ years. I would expect such a bad mistake from Dave O'Brien, but not from you JP. FWIW, Harkes was pretty good as well - how the hell this is ESPN's #2 team behind the morons O'Brien and Balboa I'll never know.


A good showing by Portugal, just not good enough.

Ollie Kahn played excellent in perhaps his final appearance for the German national team. Germany were great and played awesome offensive soccer - could Frings make that much of a difference? Ballack didn't play today and he wasn't missed at all. Anyhow, based on their play in this tournament, I would have to say that right now Germany and Spain are my 2 favorites to win Euro 2008 - might be worth a bet this far out; the price will be great because they haven't even started qualifying yet.

Good for Figo that he created Portugal's goal in his probably swansong, but if this was to be his last match ever for Portugal, then why didn't Scolari start him? C Ronaldo was dangerous and pacey yet again, but the diving thing is currently overshadowing his play - he had another beauty today in the first half.

So that's about it. Congratulations to Germany: the team, the fans, and the nation, for putting on a great tournament, showing great enthusiasm and support, and for playing arguably the most beautiful soccer of any team in the competition.


Danke, Germany: beautiful all around.

The World Cup for Men Who Hate Soccer

FYI: SFW = Safe For Work. NSFW = Not Safe For Work.

Regular titillation resumed, and this time it's interactive. Galleries and games for all the hetero men (and lipstick lesbians) out there:

The Onion Bag's Babe World Cup: You play out the entire tournament from group stage to knockout stage by selecting beautiful women from each country. I had Mexico's Selma Hayek beating Switzerland's Michelle Hunziker in the final. SFW.


Mexico finally gets past the quarterfinals.

FHM World Cup of Women: One beautiful woman for each of the 32 countries. Kind of like the baseball cards I collected as a kid, only more... interesting. Selma damn near wins this one as well, but I can't put her ahead of Croatia's Korina Longin, my champion. SFW.


She massively outperformed the Croat team.

FHM World Cup Wet T Shirt Contest: This will suck up some bandwidth, but is pretty well done. Interestingly, my choice was Jacqueline from France. Foreboding? SFW.

FHM World Cup WAGS: That's short for Wives And Girlfriends. A bunch of world cup stars significant others, each with their own photo gallery. Speaking of foreboding, if there is any to be found here then Italy will win tomorrow rather easily. The main page is SFW, some of the galleries are definitely not.


Figo: You'll respect him a lot more once
you see the pictures of his wife. I promise.

Playboy UK Women Of The World Cup: Pretty self explanatory: too bad they only have 14 of the 32 teams represented - no Italy? Strange. Hungary's Hajnalka Hornyak wins this one for me, hands down. NSFW.


France lost the final to Hungary here.

Soccer Strip Quest: Ever wasted hours and hours of your life played Bejeweled? Did you ever think to yourself: "this is cool, but it would be much better if instead of jewels they had soccer balls, and for every 1000 points you score you get a different picture of a girl in a world cup nation shirt flashing her tits"? If so, then I have only 2 words for you: you're welcome. NSFW, unless you open an Excel spreadsheet or something and position it so that it covers up the left hand side of the game window, and another to cover up the ads at the top of the page.

Dodgy At Best: Equal Opportunity Tittilator

If you have been through these parts during the World Cup then you may have noticed a few non-soccer related photos. If you don't know me then you may think that I am the guy who buys and drinks Coors Light just because of the "Twins" ad campaign, when in fact I am not that guy - I just love beautiful women. Hell, I read The Broadsheet to keep up on women's issues (and you should too).

Anyhow, it has come to my attention that there are at least 5 women who peruse these virtual pages (not sure about gay men), so in the spirit of equal opportunity I wanted to present some visual manbeef for them as well.

Before the tourney I offered up a picture of Arsenal/Sweden midfielder and Calvin Klein model Freddy Ljungberg from one of his CK photo shoots. My sister suddenly became more interested in The Gunners and Svierge, so I offer up this gallery of Freddy photos from Spiegel's website, which claims that these photos were deemed too hot for TV outdoor billboards in Stokholm, which seems bizarre considering how progressive Sweden seems to be.

Additionally, she or anyone else can always just do a Google Images search for FL, like this.


A win/win scenario photo that should make everybody happy.

Next up - Team Italia, and their suggestively erotic ad campaign for Dolce & Gabbana, with not one but three near naked locker room pics, each one more sexually suggestive than the last. I can't think of any other team in the World Cup that would do a photoshoot like this one. Can you imagine Landon Donivan, Beasley, Eddie Pope, and the rest doing something like this? Methinks it would be a little to uncomfortably homoerotic for them. But in Italy, it's all about exuding sensuality and sexuality, and Fabio Cannavaro, Gianluca Zambrotta, Gennaro Gattuso, Andrea Pirlo and Manuele Blasi have no such homophobic discomfort. Anyhow, enjoy ladies, methinks these photos might seriously affect who you root for on in the final.

Finally, I give you the German newspaper/magazine Stern, which has a massive library of World Cup manbeef photo galleries for your viewing pleasure. Knock yourselves out; shit, there's like 40 different photo galleries, shirtless, in uniform, in casual wear, in suits, you name it. You can even click on any of the 32 teams on the right to view pics of just their players.

If that isn't enough for you, then you can always go to the official FIFA World Cup site, click on any of the 62 matches thusfar, and browse through the photo galleries looking for hottness and post match shirtless men exchanging jerseys. A girl friend (notice the space) of mine commented to me that the postgame jersey exchange was her favorite part of the matches.


Talk about Mars & Venus:
Men: "That's a cool tradition."
Women: "Va Va Voom!"

Finally, to show that I am slightly deeper than superficial tittilation, here is an excellent article on the positive affect that women are having on soccer and vice versa.

Semifinals: Day 23 Random Thoughts / Open Thread

Portugal-France
These two teams last played in the semifinal of Euro 2000, where France earned a penalty in the 119th minute which Zidane promptly buried to win the match 2-1. Portugal will feel like this is an opportunity to get revenge for that heartbreaking loss. After crashing out of World Cup 2002, Portugal made it all the way to the finals of Euro 2004 on their home soil, where they lost to Greece for the 2nd time in that competition. So they have now been very close a few times and may very well feel like they are a team of destiny that is ready to take the next step. Portugal are in their 2nd World Cup semifinal (1966), and are looking to become only the 12th nation on planet earth to have appeared in a World Cup final. France are in their 4th World Cup semifinal; they lost at this stage in 1982 (to Germany on penalties, of course) and again in 1986 (Germany again, this time 0-2), while in 1998 they came from behind to beat Croatia on two Thuram goals en route to winning their first World Cup.


POR: Are these the "heroes of the sea" from
the title of the Portugese national anthem?

Each team has a true maestro arriving at the end of his international career: Portugal's Luis Figo and France's Zidane Zidane. Figo was voted European Player of the Year in 2000 and World Player of The Year in 2001. Zidane was voted European Player of the Year in 1998 and World Player of the Year in 1998, 2000, and 2003. Like Zidane and Ronaldo, Zizou and Figo were "galatico" teammates for a few years at Real Madrid, before Figo moved on to Inter Milan last year. These two will get all the attention, and media coverage, and certainly it will be interesting to watch the two aging masters on the field together for the final time.


The 2 legends exchange greetings pre-match.

That being said, the midfield battle that will be more instrumental in deciding the match will be between French colossus Patrick Vieira and Portugese playmaker Deco. Watch the match to see who wins this battle: will Paddy boss the midfield again and prevent Deco from being an effective quarterback who sets the offensive table with his passing and vision, or Deco is able to do his thing and not get bossed by PV4?


Les Blues, pictured here as Les Blancs.

For all the attention that France's offensive prowess received since the Brasil match, it is their defense which has been the key to their success, just like in their 1998 World Cup run. Thuram and Gallas are playing like thirtysomething warriors, and with Vieira in front of them bossing things they have been amazingly effective - they have not conceded a goal in 2 matches against perhaps the two best offensive teams in the tournament, Spain and Brasil (Spain's goal was a converted penalty kick not a goal from "open play" or even a free kick). That being said, Barthez is always a disaster waiting to happen, and although he is known for saving penalties and making some world class saves, he often has a serious blunder from time to time as well.

I am a little worried about France's mindset, as all of a sudden they have gone from flying under the radar to being hailed at the World Cup winners-to-be by the media. But I think that they are such a veteran squad that have been through all of the hype before that they will be very much focused on the task at hand.


No disrespect to Le Tour de France,
but today is all about the maillot bleu.

On a yellow card: For Portugal, Deco is back from card accumulation suspension, but Petit will miss this match for the same reason. Maniche, Figo, Ricardo, Valente, and Carvalho are all on a yellow and with another will miss the final (or 3rd place match). For France Vieira, Ribery, Zidane, Thuram, Sagnol, and Saha are all on a yellow, so they would miss the final (or 3rd place match) by picking up one more.

Portugal must think that this is their time, while France must be supremely confident after dispatching both Spain and Brasil. This one has a much better chance to be a higher scoring affair. I hope that the talented Portugese team stick to playing soccer and tone it down with the diving and flopping around, especially C Ronaldo, who apparently is persona non grata in Manchester right about now.


Almost makes me want to pull for Portugal.
Almost.

So what happens? I'll go with 2-1 France, with Vieira and Henry scoring for Les Blues and either a stunning, unsavable Portugal goal or a complete blunder by Barthez. Whomever wins this match will have my full support against Italy in the final.

Final pregame thoughts:
Scolari has won 12 World Cup matches in a row: 7 with Brasil in 2002, 5 this year

Scolari is straight-up Gene Hackman, to go along with Dean Cain (Deco) and hippy Padraig Harrington (Maniche).

Ribery is Tom Greene.

Allez Les Bleus, and Come On You Gunners!

(well, technically, Gunner).

32nd min.: PENAL! Henry makes some sweet moves to beat Carvalho in the box, and Carvalho trips him. Replays confirm that he was in fact tripped and did not dive.

33rd min.: Zidane buries it to his left, where he always shoots. Ricardo guesses correctly because he knows that Zizou always goes left, but the shot is unsaveable. 1-0 au Les Blues.


Ricardo knows it's going left; EVERYONE knows it's going left,
but he still can't save it because it's perfect.

36th min.: An absolutely world class dive by C Ronaldo in the box trying to earn a penalty. Up to this point he was already being roundly booed every time he touched the ball, which is funny since all of the England fans have gone home or are still passed out. Forget persona non grata in England, has CR17 become persona non grata of world football?

Half Time. Portugal 0-1 France. A very entertaining first half, and the goal will only open up the game even more. Can't bitch much about the penalty - Henry was clearly tripped, and as many matches of his as I have seen, I would say there was an 90% chance that he would have scored his point blank shot if he had been able to jump over Carvalho's leg. Hopefully France can keep it up and hold on in the 2nd half. If they do, I just hope that Vieira or Zidane don't pick up a silly yellow card, becasue doing so would mean that they would miss the final through suspension, and France cannot really afford to miss either of these two, especially Vieira.

Full Time.

Portugal 0-1 France.


See you on Sunday, love.

France came out and clearly tried to get a quick goal to kill the game. Henry came aganozingly close to doing just that, but Ricardo got his arm on it and the ball spun under and behind him and rolled about 2 feet wide of the post. After that the match kind of tensed up for about 15 minutes, and the match felt like the opposite of 3 of the 4 quarterfinals and yesterday's semifinal, which were all tense 0-0s in the 1st half and then opened up in the 2nd. This match was like the bizarro version of those for a while. Then it turned into the classic 1-0 match: Portugal, down a goal, was forced to really attack, and France tried to absorb their pressure and hit them on the counterattack. Portugal created some good chances but couldn't put any away. Their best chance came courtesy of Fabian Barthez, who served a would-be goal up on a platter when, instead of simply catching a C Ronaldo free kick, he instead decided to serve it up Karch Kiraly style. Lucky for him, Figo was not able to spike it home with his head, and instead headed over with a good portion of the goal at his mercy. Disaster averted from the French disaster waiting to happen.


I wish I was there to give her a big hug,
after I took off my France jersey of course.

Portugal also did some more world class diving in the box and whining to the referee that outdid Italy yesterday. C Ronaldo, not satisfied with his outrageous dive in the box int he first half from no contact whatsoever, did the same thing again, and the whole team and bench creamed at the referee as if he ahd been shot. Then, when Miguel went down in a heap on his own (replays confirmed that he went down akwardly injuring himself from no contact), more protestations that he must have been mauled. Finally substitute Postiga fell down in a heap in the box under no contact: rinse and repeat. It was completely shameful. Portugal had more great chances in the last 10 minutes, and a great one at the death, except that dude was clearly offsides and was rightly called so.

By the by: credit where credit is due - the referee had an excellent match today. He got the penalty call correct, didn't go card crazy, and he didn't fall for any of the outrageous Portugese dives in the box.

France did what they needed to do, and they are through to the final. Saha picked up a yellow card and will be suspended for the final, which isn't the worst thing in the world for France because Domenech hasn't been using him much at all (although I still think France would be at their best in a 4-4-2 with Henry & Saha up front and a midfield of Ribery, Vieira, Zidane, and Maladou with Makelele dropped). Carvalho picked up a 2nd card for Portugal and will miss the 3rd place match on Saturday.


PV4 didn't quite boss the match, but he did boss Deco.

Vieira didn't quite boss the match like he did the previous four, but he did pretty much negate Deco and stifle his playmaking abilities. Deco was largely absent, and much of that was down to PV4. Portugal's most dangerous player was C Roanldo, who was very active - shame about the diving though. Figo didn't really do much, and was lucky not to be carded. He kicked Adibigal in the face and had some other hard challenges. He would have been booked except that they ref knew that he was on a yellow and the last thing FIFA wanted was a potential final for Portugal without the 2nd greatest player in the nation's history participating (Eusebio being the greatest). Zidane showed flashes of brilliance once again, and Ribery played well although he was not a constant threat. Henry made the goal that Zizou converted, and had their best chance of the 2nd half as well. He was intermittently dangerous, but did fairly well considering playing as a target man in a 4-5-1 is very unnatural for him.

Forgot to mention: Thuram played an absolute blinder in the back for France today and was definitely their man of the match. An absolute colossus. Additionally, he is without question the most badass man on the planet named Lilian.


Most badass dude named Lilian. Ever.

So there it is. Portugal are out and France are through to the final to play Italy for the whole ball of wax. More on that to come.


Au revoir, Portugal.

Semifinals: Day 22 Random Thoughts / Open Thread

Happy 4th of July. What better way to celebrate America's national holiday than by watching two former axis powers play a game that this country largely doesn't care about? Call me un-American, but I can't wait: it will be the highlight of my day. Enjoy the matches, and to my German and Italian friends, I wish you all good luck.


Not American, but celebrating her independence
nonetheless (from wearing undergarments)

Germany-Italy
It doesn't get much bigger than this as far as a big time matchup between 2 titans of world soccer: Die Mannschaft against the Azzurri. Three time champion Germany (1954, 1974, 1990) against 3 time champion Italy (1934, 1938, 1982), with the winner advancing to the final and having an excellent shot at adding a 4th star to the crest.


GER: 2 big efforts from a 4th world title.

Germany are also trying to advance to what would be their record breaking 8th World Cup final (they finished as runners up in 1966, 1982, 1986, and 2002). The trick for them is that Italy have absolutely pwned them in major international competitions, going 6-0 against Germany. Four of those wins were in the World Cup, most recently the 1982 final, with another 2 wins over Germany in the European Championships. Add to that a comprehensive 4-1 drubbing of Germany in Florence back in March of this year, and Italy certainly seem to have the hoodoo over the Germans.

But if things go to extra time and then penalties, then Germany will be heavily favored, because they always win on penalties. They are 4-0 in World Cup penalty shootouts, which just happens to be the best record ever. Additionally, since their penalty shootout loss to Czechoslovakia in the final match of Euro 1976, they have not lost a single penalty shootout in any competition. Furthermore, no German player has missed a penalty kick in a shootout since the famous 1982 World Cup semifinal with France. Talk about stereotypical German effeciency - damn.

Italy on the other hand are right up there with England when it comes to dreading penalty shootouts. They crashed out of 1998 World Cup quarterfinals finals to France, the 1994 final match to Brasil, and the 1990 semifinals on home soil to Argentina (not nearly as significant, but they also lost a 8-9 penalty shootout to Czechoslovakia in the 3rd place match of Euro 1980). So with all the mental demons that come into play in shootouts, if it goes to penalties, then big advantage to Germany. Plus they have Mats.


ITA: hoping penalties won't be the kiss of death yet again.

This match is basically a tossup. Italy are gelling at just the right time, per usual, and as I said earlier this year's team reminds me of the Italian team in 1982, that started off slow and then caught fire in the knockout stage and won the whole shooting match. Luca Toni 2006 has the potential to be Paolo Rossi 1982. If you're into that sort of thing, then a further correlation is that the massive match fixing scandal in Italian soccer is the first since... 1982.

Germany on the other hand have gained momentum throughout the whole competition, and playing at home in a 70,000 seat stadium in Dortmund will be a massive advantage. Germany have played some of the best offensive soccer in the tournament, and the striker pairing of Klose and Podolski has been the most prolific of any team in the tournament, with 8 goals between them. Italy have not conceded a goal to another team in 5 matches thusfar - the one goal against them was an own goal by their right back in the Italy-USA match. Both teams have outstanding goalkeepers in Mats and Buffon respectively. Something's gotta give.

A very intriguing late development is that on Monday Torsten Frings was suspended for today's match by FIFA for throwing a punch at Julio Cruz of Argentina in the scuffle that broke out after the match. Here's the interesting bit: FIFA didn't do anything about it until allegedly a videotape highlighting the punch was sent to FIFA by Sky Italia TV, and only then did they suspend him after seeing the video with the one punch brought to their attention. I saw the punch several times tonight and have to say that is was pretty weak, certainly not what you think of when you hear the word "punch". Anyhow Frings is out, and apparently the German camp is none too pleased with the widely assumed to be true rumor that it was the result of Italian TV calling it to FIFA's attention. It was funny to hear Italian coach Lippi at his presser yesterday firmly deny that anyone on Italy's team or soccer federation had anything to do with Frings being suspended. Of course not, Marcello, but then no one has accused you of doing any such thing - it was an Italian TV station that you are not in a postition to speak for. Anyhow, the whole thing will just add a certain edge to the already huge and tense affair.

Frings has been great in this World Cup, and he will be missed. Plain and simple: if Germany are going to win tomorrow then Ballack needs to step up and have a big match. He is constantly hyped as far and away Germany's best player, but in this tournament he hasn't really done much at all, except miss a ton of chances in the Sweden match and then do absolutely nothing in the Argentina match except miss a great first half chance and have 3 world class dives (of course he stepped up in the shootout and made his penalty, we've covered that already). He needs to take off the Speedo, lace up his boots and play a blinder in a Frings-less midfield if Germany are to win.

On a Yellow Card: Germany: Podolski, Odonkor, Friedrich. Italy: Grosso, Gattuso, Zambrotta.

So what will happen? I don't know - I think this one is too close to call. I do know that with the quality of the goalkeepers in this match I cannot see it being high scoring; I would be shocked if there were more than 3 goals, and 3 would be an absolute max. So look for a low scoring but intense and exciting battle. Of the 4 teams left Italy are my least favorite, and between Mats and California Klinsmann I would like to see Germany win, but something tells me that Italy are going to find a way to get a win tomorrow. Unless it goes to penalties - then Germany will win through to the final and Mats will be the hero again.

The last thing to note is that this match will be refereed by the dude who did the Switzerland-Ukraine match, where there was lots of physical contact and he only produced one yellow card. That might become significant at some point.

3rd min.: How about right off the bat? Gattuso kicks the shit out of Podolski's shin, but no yellow card is given. This ref is living up to his reputation for letting them play.

18th min.: Mats comes out of his goal to breakup and save a pseudo Italy breakaway.

25th min.: Luca Toni whiffed on a point blank free header in the box from an outstanding Pirlo free kick. That was the first really good chance of the match.

34th min.: Italy winning corners and creating several half-chances; they have definitely controlled the last 15 minutes, but Mats has been a rock thusfar.

35th min.: Schneider has the best chance of the match by far for Germany, but blasts his wide open shot from 15 yards just over Buffon's crossbar. That was close.

41st min.: Borowski is booked for a tackle on Totti where he got the ball and the man. If that was a yellow then there should have been about 3 others, especially the Gattuso thing in minute 3.

42nd. min: Italy cannot stay on their feet to save their lives. Any contact and they are going to ground. It's almost funny - it's like watching 10 Robert Pires' out there.

45th min.: Totti lands from a midair collision and immediately starts the Emmanuel Lewis stop drop & roll. The referee finally tells him to get the hell up.

Half Time. Another 0-0. Hopefully things will come to a boil in the 2nd half. I am guessing two dozen Italian rollings around on the ground off of maybe 6 legitimate fouls. Come on , azzurri. You are too talented to be doing this shit - this is why you frustrate me so and I can't support you.

51st min.: More of the same. Grosso, the Italian diving hero of the Australia match, has his breakaway shot saved by Mats (he was then called offsides, wrongly), he jumps over Mats, there is no contact, yet a minute later he is rolling around on the ground until the referee summons the medical team with the stretcher. After being told he has to get on the stretcher, he jumps up and runs off the field. Absolutely shameful. Exhibit A of what I hate about Italian soccer. He should definitely have been given a yellow card. I do love that Mats, knowing there was absolutely no contact, stood right over him the whole time. Classic Mats.

62nd min.: Podolski has an open shot from about 10 yards but blasts it right at Buffon, who makes a good reaction save.

65th min.: It's getting clearer and clearer that this match is only going to have 1 goal in it, if that.

70th min.: Cosmo Kramer Materazzi gets in on the act: fouled hard on his body, he falls to the ground, grabs one of his legs and rolls. As soon as he realizes that the referee has given the foul, he pops up. This is getting flat-out ridiculous.

73rd min.: Germany use their 1st substitution: Schweinsteiger on for Borowski.

74th min.: Italy use their 1st sub: Gilardino on for Luca Toni.

80th min.: Germany are clearly tired. That 120 minutes against Argentina is definitely affecting them.

81st min.: Germany are awarded a free kick just outside the box, which is interesting considering that the foul occurred inside the box. Ballack blasts over.

83rd min.: Odonkor on for Schneider, who played an excellent match. Odonkor's pace on the wing has caused problems for the opposition in every match.

85th min.: Mats saves another breakaway opportunity from Perotta, and they collide int he process. Perotta tries to make a meal of it, but the referee is not hearing it. Mats is Germany's MOTM to this point.

89th min.: Furio from Sopranos Camoranesi is booked for a bad challenge. 3 minutes of added time to be played.

Full Time. 0-0. Germany have 1 more substitution available, who I assume will be Neuville. Italy have two, not sure who they will use: Iaquinta? Ignazi? Del Piero? Both teams are tired, Germany moreso, but with these two goalkeepers don't be suprised if we see another scoreless 30 minutes and then penalties.

Iaquinta on for Camoranesi. 1 sub left for both teams.

91st min.: Gilardino makes a great move on the endline, beats Mats to his near post, but can't beat the post, as his shot clangs off the woodwork, and no one is there to tap it home.

92nd min.: Zambrotta goes The Clash and rocks the crossbar with a rocket shot from the edge of the box. Germany look flat-footed and tired, it's one-way traffic at the moment.

95th min.: Germany settle back into the match and things are fairly even again.

103rd min.: Ballack, Germany's lone simulator, and Iaquinta collide hard, and each one tries to outdo the other: Iaqunita goes for two hands to the top of the head, while Ballack goes for two hands to the face. I'll call it a draw.

104th min.: Del Piero on for Perotta. Italy's last substitution.

105th min.: Totti dives just outside the box, but the foul is not given.

105th min.: The final play of the period sees a great Odonkor cross find Podolski alone in the box with a free header, but he blasts is wide.

End 1st extra period. 0-0. Italy were unlucky to hit the woodwork twice in 2 minutes. Will it come back to haunt them?

110th min.: Neuville on for Klose. Does he have a winner at the death in him like he did against Poland?

111st min.: End to end action - Mats takes it off Del Piero's foot, then Podolski forces a world class save from Buffon at the other end. Great stuff.

119th min.: After a scramble in the box, Pirlo feeds a wide open Grosso whose left footed curler goes around a diving Mats and in off the post. Italy have pulled it out at the death. 1-0. Heartbreak for the hosts.

120th min.: Just to put an exclamation point on their last minute win, Italy add on another beautiful Golaso!, a counterattack with Gilardino feeding the run of Del Piero, who places an unsaveable shot in the corner. 2-0 Italy with probably the last kick of the match.

Germany 0-2 Italy. a.e.t.
Absolute heartbreak for the hosts. After Italy hit two off the post in the first extra period, and they got closer and closer to penalties, they had to think that it was to be their day. Then to go out to 2 goals in the last 120 seconds on home soil must be absolutely heartbreaking. They battled valiantly and overall had a wonderful run in the tournament where they overachieved and inspired a nation. You could see that they definitely missed Frings today - they did not get forward nearly as much as they did in all of their earlier matches, and although Kehl did well as a replacement, not having Frings in combination with Ballack being ineffective yet again really hurt Germany in midfield.

Mats was their man of the match - he kept them in it with world class play. And the two goals were absolutely unsaveable and not at all his fault. In the entire tournament he allowed 4 goals: the two today which were absolutely unsaveable, and the 2 Wanchope breakaways in the opening match in which he had no chance. He was arguably Germany's best player and he rewarded Klinsmann's faith in picking him over Kahn. On the negative side, Ballack once again had a disappointing game where he largely did nothing. He did not live up to the hype at all during the entire tournament and Germany went as far as they did largely on the efforts of others (Klose, Podolski, Frings, Odonkor, Mats) not their marquee player. And a word on Odonkor - that dude had a great tournament. He reminds me of Vinnie "The Microwave" Johnson off the bench for the Detroit Pistons in the 1980s - a dynamic bundle of energy who immediately changes the game. He has likely played himself onto a big club, and I will be suprised if a major European club do not sign him in the next month before the club season starts up again.


Mats: a new German national goalkeeping hero,
and deservedly so.

Congratulatins to Italy. They continue their hoodoo over Germany, and are now 7-0 against them in major competitions, and they did it right at the death and avoiding their nemesis of the penalty shootout. They beat Germany in Germany, in Dortmund no less, where Germany had never lost a match. As much as I bitched about their antics today, credit to them - you can't say that they didn't deserve to win. Buffon was amazing again, and they still have not conceded a goal to an opposing team. With Cech, Buffon and Mats are probably the 3 best keepers on the planet at the moment.


Both goals were even more "bellissima!" than her.

Their two goals were things of absolute beauty, which brings me back to my extreme conflict with them: I cannot stand all of the whining, diving, simulation, and bullshit, but at the same time you can't help but admire their skill when they choose to actually play soccer. Today was Italy in a nutshell: tons of shameful simulation, whining, and the rest, and then some absolutely beautiful goals that you cannot help but admire. Once again, like they always seem to do, they found a way to win as long as they manage to avoid penalties.

So we are either going to have a Italy-France final, which would be a classic rematch of the Euro 2000 final, which is one of the best matches I have ever seen, or an Italy-Portugal final where you will see more diving than the Summer Olympics.

Quarterfinals: Day 21 Random Thoughts / Open Thread

England-Portugal
A great deal of history between 1966 Champion England and Portugal, the only remaining team that is not in the exclusive club of World Cup winners. In the 1966 semifinal, England beat the great Eusebio and Portugal 2-1 en route to winning their only World Cup. In Euro 2000, Portugal went down 0-2 to England in their group stage clash only to come all the way back and win 3-2 on three beautiful goals by Luis Figo, Joao Pinto, and Nuno Gomes. Then in the quarterfinals of Euro 2004, these two played the match of the tournament which had absolutely everything. Rooneh dominated until he went off injured, 2 great goals in regulation, a controversially disallowed winner by Sol Campbell for England in the last minute of regulation, 2 more goals in extra time, then an epic 6-5 penalty shootout capped off by Portuguese goalkeeper Ricardo saving an England shot by Darius Vassell and then stepping up to put home the match winning penalty himself in front of a raucous home crowd. Many of the same players from that epic match will be on the field tomorrow.

Thusfar England have played terrible but managed to win every match, while Portugal have played some beautiful soccer and survived their knock-down, drag-out with Holland thanks to the heroics of Dutch-killer Nuno Maniche. If Portugal had all of their players available I would bet the ranch on them to beat England, but...


She's got it all; the team are missing a few key parts

Yellow cards: Portugal are without the suspended defender Costinha as well as their most important player Deco, the QB midfielder who sets the table for them. Additionally, Christiano Ronaldo has still not recovered from that bad challenge in the Holland match that knocked him out of the game early. He has not practiced at all in the last 3 days and is a serious doubt. Damn near the rest of the team is "on a yellow": Figo, Maniche, Petit, Valente, and even goalkeeper Ricardo. England have a full squad to choose from, but John Terry, Jamie Carragher, and goalkeeper Paul Robinson are all on a yellow card.

Fitness/rest: Both teams are on 5 days rest; England are playing their 5th match in 22 days and Portugal their 5th in 21 days, so not much difference there.

Can Rooneh be effective? Can England have any more effective offense other than hopeful longballs up to Rooney or Crouch and Beckham set-pieces? If Rooneh and Owen could play together up fron in a 4-4-2, why can't Rooneh and Crouch do the same thing, instead of the horrible 4-5-1 that Sven is using? So many questions...


"A can of white, a can of red, and a brush. That'll do it."

For Portugal it is simple: they sure seem a superior team to England, but can they beat them without 2 of their 4 best players?

I am saying they can, although England are dangerous because in Rooneh and Gerrard they have two players that can take a game over with their own sheer will. But I am thinking that Sven will bottle it once again and get outmaneuvered by Gene Hackman Big Phil Scolari for the 3rd time (The aforementioned Euro 2004 match and the 2002 World Cup quarterfinal against Scolari's Brasil, where England were 1-0 up and Ronaldinho was sent off, and England still mananged to come from ahead to lose).

Which brings us to something very funny I heard a woman say on Sky Sports the other night:

"If Scolari beats Eriksson a third time, does he get to keep him?"

That is of course a reference to Brasil being given the original World Cup trophy to keep in 1970 after becoming the first team to win it 3 times.

Half Time. 0-0. A pretty exciting 0-0, with England actually creating some chances and Portugal controlling the match and creating even more chances. Christiano Ronaldo is playing, and Scolari is smart to play him out wide on the left - he must remember that epic Euro 2004 match when he played C Ronaldo out wide on the right and England left back Ashley Cole absolutely dominated and nullified him in perhaps Ash's best performace of his career. Today, on the other side, he is causing problems for Phil Neville and the entire right flank of England.

50th min.: Wow. Beckham off for Lennon. Spiceman is either hurt, exhausted, or both.

60th min.: Rooneh the blockhead is given a straight red for stamping on Valente's balls right in front of the referee. The England fans are about to riot because it was hard to see and they think Rooneh was given a straight red for pushing his ManUtd teammate C Ronaldo. England to play the last 30 minutes with 10 men. This will be the talking point of the match. If it was in fact intentional, then it's hard to argue with the red, but the fact that the ref signalled intially for only a foul and then waited a minute to send Rooneh off will make it controversial. If it wasn't intentional then perhaps a yellow card would have been best. Could he have given him a straight red for the combination of the stomp, pushing C Ronaldo, and the series of "Fuck Off!"s that he gave to the ref, CR, and everyone else? If England manage to pull it out and win, then they will be without Rooneh in the semifinal.

61st min.: Crouch on for Joke Hole for England. Simao on for Pauleta for Portugal.

75th min.: Hugo Viana on for Tiago for Portugal. Each team has 1 substitution left.

Full Time. 0-0. England have actually played better and created more good chances with only 10 men - so weird how that happens sometimes. Between an uncalled hand ball early in the 2nd half, Rooneh's sending off, and C Ronaldo's dive-a-thon (he is being booed every time he touches the ball), England fans might burn Gelsenkirchen to the ground if they lose.

I have a feeling that there will be a goal in extra time; but will there be two, and then penalties? England fans are dreading them already.

End 1st extra period. 0-0. Why are England fans dreading penalties, you ask? They have been knocked out of the 1990 World Cup semifinals by Germany, the Euro 1996 semifinals by Germany, the 1998 World Cup quarterfinals by Argentina, and the Euro2004 quarterfinals by Portugal. All on penalties. They are 15 minutes from their nemesis, the lottery of the shootout.

118th min.: Carragher on for Lennon. Must be a good penalty taker, or at least Sven thinks so.

End 2nd extra peroid. Penalties. Can England conquer their demons, or is this a Charlie Brown & Lucy situation?

Portugal to shoot first.

Simao makes. Unsaveable. 1-0.
Lampard's shot saved by Ricardo, who guessed correctly. 1-0.

Hugo Viana hits the post and misses. 1-0.
Hargraves scores to the lower left corner. Ricardo guesses right and gets his hand on it, but it goes in off the post. 1-1.

Petit misses left. 1-1. Opportunity knocks for England...
Gerrard's shot is saved by Ricardo, who guesses right again. 1-1. Wow. "Sorry, opportunity, England is not home right now."

Postiga scores. 2-1 Portugal. Crunch time.
Carragher shoots early, scores, and has to retake his kick. Ricardo saves it, then it goes off the crossbar and out.

Portugal one kick away from the semifinal...

Christiano Ronaldo scores in the upper corner. Portugal break England's hearts again. The nightmare continues for the Three Lions.

England 0-0 Portugal. a.e.t (1:3 PSO).

Gelsenkirchen, look out. England fans will be on some Larry Munson shit:

"MAN! Is there going to be some property destroyed tonight!"

Oh, and think of what a joyful happy occasion that wedding is going to be in the next couple of hours.

I'm off to watch the QUE RIDICULO hottness on Republica Deportiva.

Brasil-France
There is also a great deal of history between 5 time champion Brasil and 1998 champion France. These two contested the 1998 final, where France shocked the favored Brasilians 3-0, handing them their biggest loss in their history (literally. Figuratively may be the 1950 final, where the lost at home to Uruaguay in front of a crowd of 200,000). Zidane scored two goals to achieve iconic legend status in France, and Arsenal duo Vieira & Petit killed the game with a third, which led to this epic headine in The Mirror:


The Gunners are doing pretty well this time around, too.

Ronaldo, then the best player on the planet bar none, played but was a complete zombie. The night prior he was mysteriously hospitalized, and it is widely thought that he had a seizure or breakdown of some sort, but that Nike insisted that he start, which he did, even though he was completely useless and actually hurt Brasil by being on the field. Several of the same players 8 years later, including Zizou in his swansong and Ronaldo, now the all time WC goalscorer looking for his redemption for that 98 final mystery.

Then there was the epic 1986 World Cup quarterfinal between these two, which Pele says is the best match that he ever played in saw. That's strong stuff coming from a man who won 3 World Cups as a player. France came from behind to make it 1-1 and force extra time, both teams hit the woodwork, then after missing their first penalty kick France made their last four and beat Brasil 4-3 on PKs.

Which brings us to today. France's aging core of World and European champions trying for another classic effort against the heavy tournament favorites. France have a bit of mental hoodoo over Brasil, and know that they can be beat beacuse they have done it before themselves. Brasil are especially motivated to exact revenge for one of the darkest days in the nation's history.



Domenech will probably read his horoscope and then choose the 4-5-1 formation that actually worked fairly well against Spain. I politely disagree with him, and think that their best chance to win is by playing 4-4-2 with Henry and Saha up front; as I said before the last match, I think Saha is currently way more dangerous than Trezeguet, who like Roanldo is lazy and only runs when it will result in a scoring chance for him. Brasil have looked their best when Robinho was played; he may or may not still be injured.

Like the Champions League Final in May, this match will feature the two players generally considered the 2 best in the world: Ronaldinho and Thierry Henry. Both are used rather differently for their country than they are for their clubs, which is the main reason that neither is as prolific for their national teams. Neither did a whole lot in the CL final; today is another opportunity for both to shine.

Yellow cards: striker Adriano and defender Juan are on a yellow card for Brasil. France have 3 of their key payers on a yellow card: Vieira, Zidane, and Ribery.

Fitness/rest: Brasil and France are both on 3 days rest and playing their 5th match in 19 days.

Personallly I think that the winner of this match will win the World Cup. I appreciate Brasil and Joga Bonito as much as any neutral fan, but if you have been reading than you already know what I am rooting for and my prediction: a classic 3-2 win for France, with my man Vieira bossing the midfield, Zizou playing an inspired match, and Henry stepping up and scoring as well. I also think Ronaldo will score a goal to somewhat erase his demons of the 98 final.

Brasil 0-1 France.

It's official: France is Brasil's kryptonite.

What a performance! Zidane went into the time machine and set the dial to 2000. Vieira completely bossed the midfield for the third match in a row despite Brasil continually hacking the shit out of him. And Henry put to rest once and for all the ridiculous assertion that he doesn't show up big in big matches. Did today, or this World Cup, change anyone's mind about who is the best player in the world? Also, that GOLASO! was the first time that Henry has scored a goal for France from a Zidane pass. Amazing.


They finally did it, and couldn't have picked a better time.

I'm off to the Fillmore Jazz Festival; complete writeup later tonight.

***Update***: Sorry about the delay. One word: Sangria.

They finally did it. Ever since their epic win in the Euro2000 final, this France team has frustratingly failed to play to it's full potential, crashing out of WC2002 when Zidane and Pires were injured, losing in the Euro2004 quarterfinal 0-1 to massive underdogs and eventual champions Greece, and then failing to impress in World Cup qualifying and making it much more difficult than it should have been even though they didn't lose a match. But Zidane came out of international retirement, and in the must win match at Ireland, Thierry Henry scored the goal in a 1-0 win that put them into the World Cup. But as I said, for 6 long years, they didn't quite live up to what they were capable of, and it was mysterious and frustrating. Why can't they play a match with Vieira bossing the midfield and winning 50/50 balls all game long, controlling possession, Zizou's genius opening up the opposing team's defense, and Henry's pace, skill, and finishing wreaking havoc all at the same time? Time after time after time you were left to wonder why this hadn't happened since that Euro 200o Final. In this competition they started slowly, drawing with the Swiss, then they played better, beating the Koreans but only getting a draw, then when they needed to beat Togo 2-0 to go through they did. They improved further against Spain, and for the first time you got a glimpse of what this team can and should do when their big 3 are all on song, and the role players like Ribery, Maladou, Gallas, Thuram and the rest do their thing as well.

Well, against Brasil it all came together and this squad finally realized its long lost potential from 1998 and 2000. Zidane announced from the very beginning that he would not go quietly into that good night. In the first 30 seconds of the match, he got the ball, did a pirouette to elude 2 tacklers, then did a fake stepover move to elude a third before passing up to Henry who was offside. This was a messgae that he was up for it and would be a force to be reckoned with. He played the entire match this way - it was classic Zizou. As I said earlier it was as if he went into the time machine and dialed up the year 2000. I am glad that soccer fans who weren't soccer fans in 1998 and 2000 got to see what Zizou can do when he is at or near his best, and the fact that he could will himself to such a performance at the end of his career shows again that he is one of the most clutch players in the history of the sport.

Vieira completely bossed the midfield for the 4th match in a row. It is not as easy to see as a plyer like Zidane, but when PV4 is on he is still the best holding midfielder in the world. Period. There were about a dozen times when he got stuck in for 50/50 balls in the midfield and won the ball, stopping Brasil's attack and gaining possession for Les Blues, or when he made beautiful dispossessing takles of Brasilian players going forward. That's his job - win the ball, then get it to Zidane, and yesterday he did it amazingly well. On top of this he is a very good passer, is dangerous going forward, and can score goals (he has 3 thusfar but was only credited with two). The last two matches his heroic play has been overshadowed by the media fawning over Zidane. Against Spain this was lazy analysis, as Zidane didn't do much at all until his last minute goal while PV4 dominated the game and was definitely France's best player, but today it was accurate, as Zidane played the match of the tournament, but make no mistake - Vieira played another blinder as well, and had Paddy not done his thing then Zidane would not have been in position to do his.

Then there is Monsieur Henry. He was dangerous and menacing the whole match with his pace and skill, and he finished that goal with grace and power. Again, I am so glad that he scored that goal today to shut up all of the morons who criticize him for not playing big in big games. He now has 3 goals; one against South Korea that was hugely important, the 2nd against Togo where they had to win 2-0 to advance, and today's gem to knockout the heavy favorites, who had won 11 World Cup matches in a row and had not lost a World Cup match since the 1998 final to France. Oh, and on top of that Henry scored the goal in Ireland that got France to the World Cup in the first place. This on top of what he did against Real Madrid in the Bernabeu, Juventus in the Champions League quarters, the hat trick aginst Roma (0-1 down to 3-1 up) that night in the San Siro against Inter (0-3 down to 6-4 up), or any and all of his huge goals over the years against ManUtd, Chel$ea, Liverpool, and Tottenham Hotspur. Don't tell me or him that any of those aren't big games. So all you haters go find someone else to hate on about not playing big in biog matches. You might want to look at Ronaldinho, Ballack, or Frank Lampard for starters.

But make no mistake, this France team is not 3 stars and a bunch of scrubs. Ribery has played huge in his first tournament for France, and he definitely will be signed by a big club before the next season starts. Gallas and Thuram have been rock solid ageless warriors, while Malouda on the wing and left back Abidal have been excellent as well. Everyone is playing their role, and even Barthez has kept the comedic errors to one - that terrible mistake against South Korea. Makelele has done nothing, which proves the point I have been making the last four years that anyone who calls the holding defensive position the "Makelele Role" is baked, because he is such a poor man's Vieira that it isn't even funny.

And what of Brasil? You thought they would come out and take the game to France, but the exact opposite happened. The older legs of France took the match to them early and often. They seemed to be bogged down in the middle of the field a bit, and didn't get the ball out wide very much. The whole tournament I thought they looked best and most dangerous when Robinho was on the field, so I was suprised that he didn't start. Once he came on late they did look better, and created some good chances right at the end, but it was too little too late. And Roberto Carlos did not play well again, ,and Parriera will feel the heat for sticking with his "sacred cow" rather than Cicinho, who played better in the Australia match then Carlos did the entire tournement. And as beautiful as the France goal was, it was only made possible by the fact that Roberto Carlos was nowhere to be seen defensively on that play, as he stood still on the edge of the box and watched as Henry went in alone to blast into the roof of Dida's net.

Not much to say if you are Brasil. You got outworked and outplayed by France yet again. At least they lost with dignity and class unlike their South American neighbors who decided starting a fight would be a good last impression for this World Cup.

So there it is.

Germany, Italy, Portugal, and France.

Welcome to Euro 2006.


Au revoir, Selecao.

Quarterfinals: Day 20 Random Thoughts / Open Thread

If you didn't stop by last night, be sure to catch up on some pre-quarterfinals thoughts from Kanu, the class struggle of the quarterfinals, and where you should go when you leave here. Really tough not to call in sick today, but I'll get by with 1st halves on the Slingbox and 2nd halves on proper TV at the pub. Enjoy the matches, it should be a great day.

Germany-Argentina
A massive, massive match between two of the biggest powers in world football: 3 time champions Germany (1954, 1974, 1990) and 2 time champions Argentina (1978, 1986). Oh, and they have just a bit of history. Not only have they met 10 times before (4 ARG wins, 3 GER wins, 3 draws), these two teams met in the World Cup final in both 1986, where Maradona's Argentina beat Germany 3-2 in the final in Mexico, and again in 1990, where Germany exacted revenge in a 1-0 final in Italy marred by a red-card, a penalty kick goal, and some truly brutal tackling.


ARG: very talented.

Which brings us to today's quarterfinal. Argentina are 1 of 2 clearcut favorites to win the tournament, and have as much talent and depth as Brasil if not more. Not a whole lot was expected of the German team this time around, but they have played arguably the best soccer of any team in the tournament over the first 4 games (and lots of anti-German stereotype Joga Bonito I might add). Oh, and they are the host country, which as you know is a massive advantage (8 of the 17 host nations have reached the final, with 6 of those 8 winning the Cup). Germany has really rallied behind this team, and now they believe that they can win the whole shooting match. So playing at home will be a massive advantage, and even moreso that they are fortunate that this match will be played in Berlin at the largest stadium in the country (80,000).


GER: talented as well, and playing at home.

Yellow cards: Germany have only midfielder Torsten Frings on a yellow. Argentina have two defenders, Sorin and Heinze, on a yellow card. That will be a bit dicey for Argentina, as both are not ones to shy away from a hard tackle, especially Heinze, who although very talented is a bit of a hardman enforcer.

Fitness/rest: For what it's worth, both teams are on 5 days rest. Argentina are playing their 5th match in 21 days and Germany their 5th in 22, so there's not much difference at all between the two.


GER: breaking with conservative tradition.

Both teams are going to play an attacking style and try to take the game to the other - no 4-5-1 here. Should be very exciting for the neutrals. Per usual, I think the key player for Argentina is Messi - they just seem so much more dangerous going forward when he is in. Saviola might not start, but his work thusfar has been excellent and has been lost in the shuffle a little and underappreciated. For Germany , their two strikers Klose and Podolski have been red hot - probably the best tandem of the entire World Cup. Will Ballack show up and boss a match? Also, Germany will need Mats Wilander to have a huge match in the goal. He has been great thusfar - 3 clean sheets in a row and the only 2 goals he has conceded were the two Paolo Wanchope breakaways, which a keeper is not expected to save and are really the fault of the defense (of course this hasn't kept Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer from bitching and moaning about not playing ahead of Mats, who has clearly been better all year). Anyhow, Mats hasn't really been tested thusfar but you know he will be today - he needs a big match for Germany to win.


ARG: always like to let it all hang out.

Bottom line: I can't call it. I think it will be an exciting match with lots of offense, so I'll give you a score but not the winner. 3-2 is your final in one of the matches of the tournament.

Halftime. 0-0. This match is just exciting enough not to be boring, and just boring enough not to be exciting. Intense and dramatic because of the situation/environment, but as a soccer match not so great - very few chances by either team. This match needs a goal badly to open up; the longer it goes 0-0 the more each team will play not to lose rather than play to win, and the mentality will become "defend at all cost, don't concede, try to nick a goal on a counterattack, and worst case scenario take our chances on penalties".

Again, I think Messi can change the game and be the difference.

Is is just me or does the referee look like Steve Buscemi?

Germany 1-1 Argentina a.e.t (4:2 PSO).
Hero: none other than Mats. He kept Germany alive at the end of regulation with arguably the save of the tournament. Then when it went to penalties I thought Germany would win and Mats would be the hero, given his incredible history of saving big penalties. And damn if he didn't guess correctly on all 4 shots, save two of them, and become a legend and hero to an entire nation just like he has for Arsenal fans worldwide. Oliver who? Cromagnon man can shut it, because he would not have done what Mats did today. I am so happy for Mats, who has had to sit in the shadow of Kahn all these years, and when finally given the chance has stepped up and showed the world how damn good a keeper he is. He even threw in a bit of his craziness when he came 40 yards out of his goal to get in Rodriguez's face for rolling around and wasting time in the 75th minute. Sweet.


Mats! Legend in North London and now Deutschland as well.

Goat: Peckerman, the aptly named Argentine coach. Up 1-0 with 25 minutes to go and one sub left, he took of Crespo and brought on Messi Saviola Cruz. Cruz is a calssic #9 target man; Messi is amazing at holding the ball, controlling tempo and possession, and passing. This was just about as stupid a move as any man could make. When Germany equalized, Argentina were screwed because they were out of subs, had taken playmaker Riquelme off for holding midfielder Cambiasso (not a bad move at the time), and had a tired ass Tevez and target man Cruz up front, while Saviola and (in my opinion) Argentina's best player, Messi, got to sit and watch on the bench how ineffective Argentina had become at keeping possession and going forward.


Hey Peckerman: they don't make banners and murals
of bench warmers.

More later...

Later: SO the first half was pretty boring, like two heavyweights feeling each other out. Argentina seemed to be controlling the match, and soon after the break they went ahead on a beautiful header by Ayala off a Riquelme corner kick. Germany had a defender guarding the line on each post, and the header was just out of reach of Mats' outstretched dive as well as the defender. I would guess that only about 10% of the entire goal was available and damn if he didn't find it. Very nice. Argentina stayed in control, and importantly their keeper got hurt & had to be subbed, leaving Peckerman with only two. I told the guys I had met at the bar that Germany better score an equalizer before Messi comes on, because after that I thought is was much more likely that Argentina would score a second than Germany a first. Around the 70th minute Peckerman took off Riquelme, the midfield quarterback who was heloing ARG control the ball and the match, and put in Cambiasso, more of a holding defensive midfielder whose strength is defending and winning the ball rather than controlling the midfield. Up 1-0 is was not a bad substitution at all, because he still had half-striker Messi on the bench. I assumed that soon thereafter he would take off Crespo and put on Messi, who would take over that role of holding the ball, holding possession, and controlling the midfield. Instead Peckerman took off Crespo and put on Cruz, a target man of a forward who is not at all a holder or controller of the ball. Ever since Riquelme went off GErmany controlled the midfield and the match, and 1 minute after Cruz came on as the last sub Germany equalized on a beautiful, cross, flickon header, and finishing header by Klose. Argentina were suddenly fucked. No Riquelme to control the middle, no Messi to control the ball, no midfield maestro - only a very tired Tevez and a target man Cruz up front. Messi & Saviola could only watch as it was clear that ARG did not have an effective team on the field at all. Huge advantage swing over to Germany.

Mats saved Germany's bacon sourkraut in the last minute with one of the saves of the tournament, a diving outstretching hand deflecting the ball around the post, all with a screening Argentine right in front of him. At that point I felt like this match was going to penalties and that Mats would be the hero.

That's exactly what happened as I wrote above. The penalty shootout was dramatic: the two best teams in World Cup penalty shootouts, both 3-0, and on top of the the Germans are known to pretty much never lose at penalties; they have that reputation, that aura, that mystique. Mats went into some Zen meditation thing before the shootout. At that point I knew the Albaceleste had no chance. Germany lived up to their stereotype of German Efficiency, unlike the Swiss who in their penalty shootout the other day were far from precise. Mats guessed correctly on all 4 Argentine penalties, saved two, and even got a hand on Maxi Rodruguez's near perfect penalty that went into the side netting. All four German penalties were true; 3 were literally unsaveable and Ballack shot his to the opposite side of where the keeper guessed. Dramatic stuff indeed.

The only other thing worth mentioning is that as I have learned in watching him since the last World Cup, Michael Ballack is a unabashed cheating diver. He blatantly dived int he box no less than three times. The last one was so obvious that I called it. As Germany lined up that free kick from the right near the end, i said to the bar, "Ballack will dive in the box and try to get a penalty", which is exactly what happened. They all looked at me like I was some kind of swami, but it was as abvious as saying "that drunk ass dude is going to hit on that pretty girl, make a total ass of himself, and strike out" at the club around 2 a.m. on a Saturday night. Shameless stuff from Ballack; I can see him and Drogba giving each other pointers off to the side of Chel$ea's practice sessions.

Lastly, Argentina went all Ron Burgundy just after losing: "You stay classy, San Diego Argentina."

Italy-Ukraine
Three time champions Italy (1934, 1938, 1982) represent Old Money, while first time participants Ukraine represent New Money. Italy have lots of superstar talent all over the park. Ukraine are largely seen as a workmanlike 10 plus Shevchenko, one of the 5 best players in the world, and in my opinion one of the 3 best strikers on the planet (Henry, Eto'o). They have only played three times, with Italy winning 2 Euro 96 qualifiers and the teams playing a 0-0 friendly just a month ago in their final World Cup tune-up match.


Don't try to act hard: you would wear the goofy-ass hat
too if she asked. Oh yes you would.

Yellow cards: Italy will miss hardman defender Cosmo Kramer Marco Materazzi through suspension. Additionally, they have 3 players on a yellow - defenders Grosso and Zambrotta as well as bulldog holding midfielder Gattuso. Ukraine have their full squad and do not have a single player on a yellow, thanks to the sensible (or overreacting to the Portugal-Holland match) referee who worked their match with Switzerland and issued only 1 card (to a Swiss player).

Fitness/rest: Both teams are on 3 days rest. Italy are playing their 5th match in 19 days and Ukraine are playing their 5th match in 17 days.

The general perception of this match is that Italy are massive favorites and should win easily, but I think those who write off Ukraine as rank outsiders may be doing so at great risk. Both teams came in with high expectations and have underwhelmed thusfar, but as I said earlier, either team is capable of catching fire and stomping the other. So there are basically 4 scenarios: one team snaps out of it and plays great while the other continues to stutter and you see a convincing 2-0 or 3-1 win, both snap out of it and you see an epic extra time or even penalty shootout thriller, or both continue to stutter and you see a boring and disappointing scoreless draw or a 1-0 on the excitement level of England-Ecuador (read: not very).

So which is it? I have no idea: if I did I wouldn't be writing this right now I would be over here increasing my personal wealth. I do thnk that Sheva is going to create a goal either for himself or for a teammate, and I also think that Luca Toni is going to stop hitting posts and put one in the back of the net. Beyond that I don't know, although I will be rooting for Ukraine to pull the shocker.


UKR: ready to rise up and shock the world?

Italy 3-0 Ukraine.
In the pregame I gave 4 scenarios. As it turned out, the match was a hybrid of two of them. Both teams in fact played much better than they had, but we didn't get the classic match I thought that would bring. Instead we got what on paper is an Italian asswhipping. But I must say that in the 2nd half Ukraine played their best soccer of the tournament. Unfortuantely for them they have nothing to show for it, because Italy were straight up assassins: they had about 5 good chances and they scored on three of those. Ukraine created about a dozen really good scoring chances but just couldn't get the ball in the net, having one off the crossbar and a few cleared off the line. Buffon was outstanding, esprecially after slamming his head into the post. I wasn't sure he could continue but he not only finished the match he played great in goal. And Luca Toni put in 2 goals as I predicted he would. Last year's leading goalscorer in Europe wasn't going to go much longer without putting his name on the scoresheet. His first was a beautiful header, and his second was a simple tap in made possible by an outstanding move and pass by Zambrotta, who himself scored the opener for Italy with a beautiful rocket left footed shot from about 25 yards out. Definitely the best Italy have looked to date. Is Italy 06 a reincarnation of Italy 82, with Luca Toni playing the part of Paolo Rossi? We'll find out more on Tuesday I suppose.


Tonight they're gonna party like it's 1999 1982.

I have been very critical of the Azzurri in past matches, so it is only fair that I tip my cap to them for their performance today. They played well, and by and large kept the soap opera dramatics to relatively low levels, despite the fact that Ukraine were very physical with them, especially in the first half. Gattuso was a stud for playing on after having his wrist inadvertantly stomped, and Buffon was a stud for his performance after smashing his dome against the post. And they played some beautiful soccer today. Credit where credit is due.


There are some things to like about Italy.