Saturday, July 8, 2006

The World Cup for Men Who Hate Soccer

FYI: SFW = Safe For Work. NSFW = Not Safe For Work.

Regular titillation resumed, and this time it's interactive. Galleries and games for all the hetero men (and lipstick lesbians) out there:

The Onion Bag's Babe World Cup
: You play out the entire tournament from group stage to knockout stage by selecting beautiful women from each country. I had Mexico's Selma Hayek beating Switzerland's Michelle Hunziker in the final. SFW.


Mexico finally gets past the quarterfinals.

FHM World Cup of Women: One beautiful woman for each of the 32 countries. Kind of like the baseball cards I collected as a kid, only more... interesting. Selma damn near wins this one as well, but I can't put her ahead of Croatia's Korina Longin, my champion. SFW.


She massively outperformed the Croat team.

FHM World Cup Wet T Shirt Contest: This will suck up some bandwidth, but is pretty well done. Interestingly, my choice was Jacqueline from France. Foreboding? SFW.

FHM World Cup WAGS: That's short for Wives And Girlfriends. A bunch of world cup stars significant others, each with their own photo gallery. Speaking of foreboding, if there is any to be found here then Italy will win tomorrow rather easily. The main page is SFW, some of the galleries are definitely not.


Figo: You'll respect him a lot more once
you see the pictures of his wife. I promise.

Playboy UK Women Of The World Cup: Pretty self explanatory: too bad they only have 14 of the 32 teams represented - no Italy? Strange. Hungary's Hajnalka Hornyak wins this one for me, hands down. NSFW.


France lost the final to Hungary here.

Soccer Strip Quest: Ever wasted hours and hours of your life played Bejeweled? Did you ever think to yourself: "this is cool, but it would be much better if instead of jewels they had soccer balls, and for every 1000 points you score you get a different picture of a girl in a world cup nation shirt flashing her tits"? If so, then I have only 2 words for you: you're welcome. NSFW, unless you open an Excel spreadsheet or something and position it so that it covers up the left hand side of the game window, and another to cover up the ads at the top of the page.

11 comments:

moin said...

Um, sorry to burst your bubble, but those "best" pics of Figo's wife isn't of his wife actually. They are of Kim Hiott, the same playboy model whose pictures were circulated a couple of years ago as Elin Nodegren, Tiger Woods' wife. No reason to stop respecting Figo though, or any of those footballers. Seriously, as if you need more reasons to want to be a footballer.

http://www.snopes.com/photos/risque/tigerwoods.asp

Also, the list of Ronaldo's exes is also very impressive.

Nicole said...

Look, I'm aware I'm clearly not the expert on this, but I just played that Bejeweled/Soccer Strip thing and that seemed to be a big collection of the smallest boobies known to man.

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