I get home, pour a Red Stripe into a frozen mug, grab my camera, and head up the stairs, very much ready to turn around a pretty crappy day.
Like a swift kick to the nuts: sudden, shocking, and very painful
See that gray box on the right that looks like a 1982 cell phone? That would be the newly installed cypher lock and alarm system. Now normally, this would piss me off beyond belief, and believe me, it did. But when you consider that in the last month alone...
1. My apartment sustained massive water damage as the result of a leak caused by landlord's negligence
2. I was forced to evacuate my apartment for 6 nights while my apartment was repaired, which turned into 15 days/14 nights
3. Landlord is refusing to reimburse me the 1/2 months rent that I paid them to kick me out of my own place
4. During this time landlord raised my rent
...then pissed off beyond belief doesn't even begin to cover it. I thought raising my rent during the last month was the cherry on the I now hate them sundae, but I failed to realize that was only a few chocolate sprinkles {jimmies if you are reading this from anywhere in New England}, and no more rooftop is the cherry on said sundae, and what a stunningly large cherry it is. What a bunch of douches.
So after I take these fuckers to court and get my money back, I may very well be cruising Craigslist. I think Eazy-E said it best when he said: "eat a dick up". But not just any dick; a disease-riddled dick that hadn't seen a shower in several days and was also infected with scabies.
And as my angry rage at this turns to eminent sadness, I will become a young Justin Timberlake, sinking down in agony against my refrigerator, clenching my fists together, and looking up at the heavens full of sorrow trying to sort it all out:
"I've been sitting here,
Can't get you off my mind,
I try my best to be a man and be strong.
I drove myself insane wishing I could
But the truth...
re-...
-mains...
you're...
GONE!
yooou're
GONE!
GONE!
baby
GONE!
yooou're
GONE!
you're..."
Thanks to digital photography and video, at least I have memory lane of The Kanu Rooftop Experience.
My rooftop: 2005-2008. RIP.
2 comments:
Man, that sucks to the depths of suck. Get thee to a Johnny Cochran's (RIP), sue their gonads off and then place said gonads where their eyes used to be.
At least you have the consolation of living in maybe the most beautiful city in the world - now you just have a little more restricted view.
Best of luck to you in your search for new digs - and your civil suit.
Oh rooftop, I shed a tear for thee. What fond memories I will hold for ever. This only increases your legendary status in the Ville.
Oh BTW, I prefer the Snoop version... Landlord, Landlord, Landlord can eat a big fat dick.
Post a Comment