The US Open is a unique test of golf. It is unlike the Masters, with its tradition of being played on the same course every year since 1934 and traditionally setup in such a way as to promote bold exciting play, and it's unlike the British Open, steeped even deeper in tradition and featuring the unique challenge of links golf and insane bunkers that you literally have to climb in and out of. The US Open is all about the USGA going straight up Scrooge and setting up the course in such a way as to try to make the most talented 150 golfers on the planet look like you and I by protecting the theoretical virtue that par, not birdie, is a good score. As a result you have 3 main factors to deal with: insanely fast greens that sit on the razor's edge seperating insanely difficult and flat-out unfair, fairways that are the narrowest of any event on tour all week (between 22 and 28 yards wide), and uber-long rough that typically requires nothing longer than a short iron to hack the ball back into play. The net effect of these three facets of course setup is that "Old Man Par" comes out of the echoes of the past to once again be not only relevant but cherished and appreciated, and in the end he very well may beat the eventual winner.
How hard is it to get your hands on the US Open trophy?
This hard.
The result? The most mentally challenging golf tournament in the world, where each player will be asked at least 72 times to make golf shots of the highest quality, and then try to deal with the fact that many of these shots, that would be perfect pinseeking tap ins on regular PGA Tour tracks, will be penalized in a way that literally borderlines on unfair. This is a tall order for men who practice hours and hours a day and very much expect that when they execute a shot exactly as they plan, that the result will always be a rewarding short birdie putt. Watching these men deal with this all day for four days is like watching an unbelieveable battle of attrition where the winner won't neccessarily be the one who hits the best shots, it will be the one who combines the best shots with the focus, determination, resolve, and level headedness required to mentally cope with the relentless potential of every hole to either punch you in the gut or kick you in the nuts. For some crazy reason watching this 4 day suffer-fest is compelling and dramatic if not, where the knife edge tension is the main attraction rather than the fun associated with shooting 58 under par at say the Bob Hope Classic.
Calmness, focus, and a Zen like even temper are damn near prerequisites for contending let alone winning. It is not wonder the Ernie Els and Retief Goosen have 2 US Opens each: thier resting heart rate is a Lance Armstrong like 32 bpm... combined. Steve "The Volcano" Pate and his hotheaded brethren need not apply, unless their name is Tiger Woods and they can compensate for their occasional temper flare ups with a focus and determination that are so ridiculously powerful that they make up for an F bomb or club toss here and there. Stated another way, if Bobby Knight played in a US Open his head would explode, and the resulting telecast could only be showed on HBO or Showtime; if network television cannot handle seeing Janet Jackson's partially covered titty for 0.5 seconds then there is simply no way that Bobby's golf course demeanor gets within 500 yards of the NBC production trailer.
What am I most looking forward to? Jason Gore of course, and cheering he and his legendary PBR mesh hat & Scottie Pippen sneaker wearing caddie to repeat their miracle run to the final group again this year. I also hope that there is significant pimpin' to be seen, although the usually very hot & humid weather tends to prevent it at the US Open.
PBR: Official adult beverage of Team Gore
Who do I like? I'll take Retief to bounce back and avenge last year's complete meltdown from the final pairing and capture his 3rd US Open. And for what it's worth, I think that Tiger, in his first tournament back since the Masters and the death of his father and best friend, will do one of two things: either be emotional, distracted, rusty, and never threaten after barely making the cut or missing it all together, or 2)be emotional, focused, and determined like we have never seen him before as he wins for his fallen father on Father's Day, once again reminding the world that his flair for the dramatic and ability to produce his best performances on the biggest stages puts him in an insanely select class that includes Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan, and Zinedine Zidane.
Lastly, as Burnt Orange Nation point out in their excellent US Open preview, this tournament is extremely special in that each year it's final round is played on Father's Day, allowing millions of fathers and sons to have the wonderful bonding experience of playing golf together in the morning and then watching the best players in the world compete for the most difficult title in the game in the afternoon. I am a bit envious of any and all of you who get to do this on Sunday, as I will miss out for the 2nd year in a row, but when I am watching the whole thing go down on Sunday I will have fond memories of sharing past Open memories with my Dad on his special day, like both of us jumping out of our chairs and high fiving each other when Payne Stewart sank this putt in 1999 to win the US Open after a performance for the ages.
One of the best moments in US Open history
So all you sons out there: show up to the course early on Sunday and pay for your dad's greens fees before he has a chance to show up and go stubborn old man refuser on you, then buy him lunch and a beer afterwards and enjoy sharing the afternoon in front of the tube while you take in the most tension-filled professional golf tournament of them all.
"Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 is quite a game."
On this day Kanu, 30, got his ass handed to him by Dad, 55.
Touche.
Love ya Dad. Happy Fathers Day 4 days early, and keep 'em in the fairway on Sunday.
Who do you like, and why?
6 comments:
"Golf courses and cemetaries. Two biggest wastes of prime real estate."
Your fascination with golf escapes us, but enjoy the U.S. Open anyway.
BTW, after numerous Serena refs and the Zeta-Jones ass clip, it's official: you have a booty problem. Welcome to the club.
George Carlin, right?
Thanks.
I done been havin' a booty problem; been in therapy for many a year to no avail. But I seem to be the only one who thinks it is a problem...
Ok, I have to ask. Are you comparing how hard it is to win the US Open to how hard it is to steal that particular diamond, or are you comparing it to the effects of watching said video clip?
The former, because 1) she goes through all that circus shit to get to the trophy 2) I have been waiting for an excuse to post a pic or vid of that scene since the day DAB was born.
The latter is way off, because watching that video is neither tense or stress inducing; quite the opposite.
Well, I suppose you misunderstood my question, but yeah, I agree. Very.. interesting video. The only reason I went and saw this movie was because the trailers included THAT shot.
My bad Moin, For once my mind was not in the gutter. Strange, that.
Blogging the Cup late into the night and getting up at the buttcrack of dawn is not the healthiest thing in the world, but I am absolutely loving every minute of it.
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