Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The USA Won't Just Qualify Today. They Will Win Outright.

This is why the US will not just qualify today against Algeria, they will win the game outright, become the next great American heroes, and start negotiating the movie rights for their now well known and about-to-explode World Cup 2010 story.

Karma
After being victim of arguably the greatest screw job in the long & storied history of the World Cup, in which they would have become the first team in World Cup history to come from a 0-2 defect to win 3-2, this team has a massive, massive bulk of karma coming its way

Revenge
Not revenge against any team or group in particular, and although millions of people around the world would love to see them get revenge against the now most famous referee in the history of the world, they don't want a piece of him either. They want revenge on the universe for denying them what was herocially earned and rightfully theirs, and they are PISSED OFF and chomping at the bit to get back out on the field and execute their revenge and be the newly minted Captain Americas.

Does this look like someone who is not 100% ready to kick ass & take names?

Hope
More Americans, and people around the world for that matter, are aware of and interested in the USA's game today. The players know this, and they know that right at this moment, they have something not yet seen in American soccer: thanks to a single bad decision, their entire nation is yearning, nay, aching for them to set this wrong right. We Americans haven't hoped so hard for a particular result in any contest since 53% of us hoped Obama right into the White House in the fall of 2008. After 100 years of irrelevance in the landscape of American sport, this is the biggest chance the USMNT may ever get to foment the tipping point for soccer in America, and they know it.

Fortune
They pre-ordered the new & improved (hahaha) Jabulani World Cup ball from adidas at the beginning of the MLS season, and some of their players who ply their trade in MLS are farther ahead on the learning curve than other teams such as Algeria who are still learning to adjust. See: Landon Donovan.

Fate
The referee's decision has become the biggest story in world sport over the last few days, but it's legacy has yet to be determined. That comes today, and the stakes are ridiculously high: lose, or draw and get knocked out by the cruelty of circumstance, and their story immediately becomes one of the most famous sporting debacles in this country and will never be forgotten. Win, or draw and qualify, then they are the heroes who conquered this problem and rendered it irrelevant to the point that in 20 years it will just be a historical footnote rather then the first thing every American reads about in the year 2248 when they instantly Google "USA World Cup 2010" with their mind. The players are aware of this, and know they have a chance make the referee scandal a historical footnote rather than their legacy for the rest of time.

Conclusion
A 300 pound pit bull on steroids and meth is about to get released, and as solid and capable as Algeria are, and as difficult as they are to break down defensively & dangerous as they can be on the counter-attack, they are simply the poor team to find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Visual Representation of USA When The Whistle Blows at 7am PST Today
one, two, one, two, three, four...

Yeah!
International Underground,
Thunder pounds,
when I stomp the ground. (Wooh)
Like a million elephants,
or silver back orangutangs,
you can't stop the train.
Who wants some?
Don't come unprepared.
I'll be there,
but when I leave there.
Bet I be a household name...

Prediction
A cagey close game where the US hold a nervy 1 goal lead until they finally go 2 goals up. The Algerians will not give up like North Korea did, and in the spirit of their most famous son Zinedine Zidane will fight to the end in hopes of an injury time 2 goal miracle comeback of some sort. But it won't matter, for when the clock strikes 90 + whatever the referee chooses to add on, the USMNT will be on the cover of the Wheaties box.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

haha awesome commentary man.
I got $150 on USA to win, i'll post back here tomorrow eitherway lol, hope you're right

Coach Chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Coach Chris said...

Controversial call from US vs. Slovenia game may actually end up helping U.S. Soccer & FIFA

http://vasoccernews.blogspot.com/2010/06/how-controversial-call-might-actually.html

Kanu said...

Great point coach Chris; thanks for the link. I was just talking to my friend about that on Saturday. All publicity is good publicity, and USMNT currently has the attention, and sympathy, of literally a billion or more people.

Today is their chance to really take US soccer to the next level.

Kanu said...

Anon 3.24am-

Good luck man, I hope you collect. If they had betting shops on every corner here like they do in the UK, I'd throw down two bills on them myself.

Anonymous said...

THEY WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

GO AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

91 MINUTES GOAL IT WAS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A MOVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ID LOST ALL HOPE OMG I CANT DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL MOST CRAZY GAME I EVER SEEN

GONNA COLLECT MY WINNINGS TOMOROW!!!!!!!!!!!

Coach Chris said...

USA is FOR REAL! Congrats on your winnings.