If last week's detailed explanation of the Jabulani situation(newly updated with supporting video evidence- go back for a 2nd read & be even more convinced) is too wordy for you by a factor of 200x, and you're the Gordon Gecko executive type with a massively inflated self worth who has an appointment with the crown prince of Dubai in 5 minutes, and you need to completely understand the biggest story in world sport this week in the next 300 seconds, then stop fiddling with the double windsor knot on your $400 power tie and pay attention because these two nice Canadian ladies are here to help:
Wow, next to a real ball Jabulani looks like it came from Toys R Us, eh?
If you didn't quite catch that amazing analysis by Brasil midfield star Felipe Melo because you were thinking "holy shit is this guy the Ron Artest of Brasil?" and missed some of the details, then that's ok. By the power of internet searching and trusty ol' cut & paste, I hereby present the mortal lock for color commentator of the year in Brasil circa 2031 and his eloquent summary of the Jabulani conundrum for fans of all ages:
“The ball is horrible, it’s hard to believe that such a ball will be used in a World Cup. The other ball is like a nagging woman: you kick her and she’s still there. This one is like a spoiled little rich kid, who doesn’t want to be kicked in any way.”