Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Thom Brenneman... You're A Douche.

Look dude, I understand and appreciate that you had to break out the filler material before halftime, and by the 4th quarter you had run out of the 28 pages of written filler material that your producers and research staff had prepared and were winging it. I also understand that you are on Fox, so I know ahead of time what I am going to get with your broadcast: a steady 4 hour helping of shit. We really should all be thankful that Fox only has the rights to a handful of games at the end of the year. If we had to endure this worse than horrid duo calling other things regularly it would be truly unbearable.

Still, your extended self-righteous rant against Mark Richt for going for it on 4th and 4 from the Hawaii 5 yard line when up 41-10 with 10 minutes left in the 4th quarter was completely ignorant and uncalled for. Your lazy, I don't cover college football all year but my network is all about the NFL and the big NFL story this year is big, bad, Bill Bellichick going for it on 4th down to run up the score ass, who knows little about the circumstances/ins and outs of a major college football team that would come from covering the sport all year, saw a lazy and easy comparison and you went for it. The trick is, that unlike the Pats that your network usually covers, our starters were not in the game. Among other non starters was QB Joe Cox, who basically got demoted when Stafford came on the scene and hadn't played in a year and a half. At RB was Kregg Lumpkin, the Job of Georgia football the last 4 years with his injuries and adversity, who was playing in his last game as a third string tailback, and the coaching staff really wanted to reward his incredible journey with a parting gift of a touchdown. The 4th down play was a pass to WR Sean Bailey, also a Senior who was playing in his last game after also overcoming the adversity of a blown out knee and 12 month rehabilitation.

If all the starters were still in then your rant may have had some merit, but they weren't, and it didn't. Presumably you wanted Georgia to do the honorable thing and kick a field goal to make it 44-10, because 44-10 makes us totally classy, sporting and honorable winners somehow but 48-10 makes us evil and classless out of control bullies.

I wouldn't be irritated enough to waste time and energy to write about this if:

1. Brenneman had made any such similar commentary whatsoever earlier in the game when the Hawaii dude thought it would be cool and fun to run full speed and blast a stationary Mikey Henderson, who is like 5'6" and weighs a buck fifty, right in the face of his helmet with an early, illegal, unsportsmanlike, and highly dangerous hit, and then follow that up by running around and jumping up and down and celebrating {Henderson missed the rest of the game, the final game of his football career, with a concussion}. Where was your ethical soapbox in the first half, fuckwad? Nowhere to be found, but later Richt is described as a classless asshole for letting his backups/seniors try to score a TD in a game that had ended about 2 hours before.

"Very, very close to helmet to helmet contact"?!??
Davis tried desperately all night to out-moron Brenneman

2. When Georgia got the ball back with 2:01 and Hawaii had no timeouts, and Richt called for victory formation and took 4 knees to run out the clock, why was there no mention about how that was a sporting and classy thing to do by coach Richt? More than half of coaches out there call for handoffs in that situation which 99% of the time amount to nothing, but occasionally the RB busts it for a big gain or a TD. Here you were given an opportunity to counteract your ignorant self but you said nothing.

3. Dude, you work for fucking Fox. Not exactly the best position for giving diatribes about being classy.

Writing about douchebags on Fox, be it sports or "news", is the ultimate form of shooting fish in a barrel, but for some reason you struck a nerve which merited me wasting 20 minutes on your ass.

Fortunately, pretty much no one was watching at that point.

In conclusion:

Thom Brenneman: you're a douche.

Here's lookin' at you, Thom.

Oh, and one more thing, fuckface: Don't ever call us the Gators again.


Anonymous said...

That was the worst called game I can remember in a really long time. Honestly the Jefferson-Pilot games during the regular season are done much better. The funny thing was that that 4th down play came with nearly the entire 4th quarter left unplayed. Georgia could have easily hung 60 on Hawaii had it been aggressive on offense. Maybe Georgia should have punted on 4th down from the 5 yard line...

Anonymous said...

I live in Cincinnati and I cringe when I hear Thom Brenneman's voice either on the radio or FSN Ohio. I switch to radio if he is on television. I have nothing but respect for Marty but Thom sucks. If I watch the game on delay and can't switch over to radio I mute the television and just watch. I've never heard a play by play done so badly. He gives out information like he is on a game show. He will gush on and on about a player until you think he is going to head down to the field to lick their cleats. He is the worst thing to happen to Cincinnati baseball and the rest of you should be counting your blessings that you only have to endure him occasionally.

Anonymous said...

I live in Cincinnati and I totally agree. Thom Brenneman is no Marty.

cost per head said...

There are some commentator that you don't want to listen to them. Specially Fox they should find different people.