Tuesday, June 5, 2007

I See Your Act Of Danish Self-Destructive Stupidity. And I Raise...

So you're Denmark, and on Saturday you were hosting longtime geographic and sporting rival Sweden in a Euro2008 qualifying match, as you happen to have been drawn into the same qualifying group {7 team round robin home and away, top 2 teams qualify}. The way things stand, you really need a result in this match to hang on to any good chance of qualifying.

You promptly go down, on your home turf, 0-3 to Sweden, and it looks like all is lost. But then, miraculously, you score 3 2nd half goals to even it up at 3-3 in the 75th minute. Although a win would put you right back into the thick of things, a draw would keep hopes of qualifying alive.

So in the 89th minute, what do you do? If you are Danish defender Christian Poulsen, with Sweden in your end but not threatening, you turn to the man you are marking and punch him as hard as you can in the stomach, causing him to fall to the ground. Oh, and you are standing in your own penalty area.

The linesman has a clear view of your Danish Self-Destructive Stupidity, and after a short conference with the referee you are shown a straight red card and Sweden is awarded a penalty.

But wait, your shining moment in the sun as the supreme goat is to be extremely short lived, as someone immediately decides to match your Danish Self-Destructive Stupidity and raise quite a bit, and he has the added advantage of having spent the last 2 hours drinking instead of playing footy.

Enter drunken fan guy, who runs onto the field, runs up to the referee, and takes a swing. Like any good n' drunk dude, he didn't exactly connect, but it was enough for the referee to abandon the match just as Sweden was to take a penalty kick in the last minute.

Warning: stupid ahead

So in all likelihood Denmark will lose by forefit thereby 1) pretty much eliminating any good chance they might have to qualify and 2) giving 3 points to their rivals Sweden and vaulting them back to the top of the group, where they probably will qualify.

The funny thing about all of this is that the happiest dude about it is probably the Danish defender who got sent off. Since 80% of penalties are converted, then it is likely that his Danish Self-Destructive Stupidity would have made him a national goat, whereby now he is kind of an afterthought.

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