Thursday, December 7, 2006

Klinsi Leaves US Soccer With Blue Balls

Klinsi was the prettiest girl US Soccer had ever seen, let alone had the chance to be with. She was way out of his league, yet she still talked to him and flirted with him. After Klinsi and Germany broke up, and US Soccer and Bruce Arena broke up, she even flirted with US Soccer and let him take her out on several dates. He was so excited to land the woman of his dreams, who could take him to heights he could only dream of.

OMG Klinsi is soooo hottt,
I can't believe he's even talking to me.

So they went out on some dates, and Klinsi smiled and laughed at US Soccer's jokes, but when it came time for the physical, Klinsi always put him off and said just wait until we are together, then I will show you things that you have never seen. The anticipation built and built in US Soccer's pants, and he was more confident than ever that Klinsi would be his woman since they were spending so much time together and having so much fun.

Yesterday Klinsi walked away, without warning, telling US Soccer "I just don't think we are a perfect match. Sorry", and leaving US Soccer with a painful hyper-inflated case of blue balls.

Klinsmann walks away; it turns out he's a major cock tease.

He added, "It's not you. It's me" and "please don't cry. This is hard enough as it is. Please stop crying" which just made US Soccer feel even worse because he knew it was him indeed and Klinsmann was just lying and trying not to be overtly mean.

It will be interesting to hear the details leak out in the next week or so about what the real reasons were for the breakup. Probably money, but we'll see.

US Soccer then decided to go steady with Bob Bradley, who is not nearly as cool or dynamic as Klinsmann, but has always liked him and shown him attention, which is what he needs right now because he is devastated and feeling sorry for himself. And Bradley puts out like you wouldn't believe.

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