Thursday, July 6, 2006

From The Dept. of Are You Shitting Me?
The Cry Boy Who Cried Wolf

After Portugal and C Ronaldo's diving throughout the tournament, capped off by their absolutely amazing performance in yesterday's loss to France, I literally thought I was dreaming or living in a bizarro world when I read this earlier today. Are you shitting me C Ronaldo? "Everyone who saw the match could see that the referee wasn't fair." What are you smoking, son? Scolari gets in on the act as well, blaming the referees. “We know these South American referees, they know how to kill a game.” Dude, are you baked? Did you even bother to watch any replays of your team's shameful performance*?.

Baked: Is this how Big Phil watches the matches?

Absolutely unbelieveable, hilarious, and sad all at the same time. Kind of like Chel$ea crying to FIFA about another club illegally contacting one of their players who is under contract. I shit you not.

And, speaking of crying: Christiano - when are you going to grow up and stop bawling your little eyes out every time your team gets knocked out of a competition (or you have to leave a match because of injury)? It's old, it's tired, and you are an absolute joke. It is a shame that no-one is talking about how you were Portugal's best player by a mile yesterday.

And I'm not some cross-of-St.-George-painted-on-my-face Engerland myopian (although as an Arsenal fan I have always despised CR and RVNs diving at ManUtd) - I actually thought Rooneh's red card was deserved, as he clearly stomped dude in the nuts, intentionally, two feet in front of the referee.

*The Miguel one was not a dive, as dude simply planted his foot wrong and went down injured under no contact. I have no problem with him. But Pauleta, Scolari, and the rest of the team's reaction to this was just disgusting, as were all of their other antics yesterday.


Anonymous said...

I think, as a general man-law (as in those terrible beer commercials), if you stomped on another man's nuts, be it intentional or not, you should not be allowed to use words like "gobsmacked" to describe your reaction to being punished for it. In fact, using the word in and of itself is a red card offense if you ask me.

Serious note, Miguel has really impressed me thus far this World Cup, got pace, skill, can tackle, and doesn't dive. I hope he recovers quickly and start raking in the money soon.

moin said...

Oh, that last one was by me. Forgot.

moin said...

Oh yeah, this all reminds me. Does anybody find it ironic how heavily Cristiano Ronaldo is featured in Nike's Joga Bonito ads? I mean, yes he has great skill (probably one of the top 3 bags of tricks in the world), but don't you get the feeling that some of the people never saw him play in a match? How exactly did anybody arrive at the idea that he would be a good representative of what Joga Bonito should be?

"Mes amis, football is like fencing, it's a noble art."
*Walks up to C. Ronaldo.*
"This is Fu Mingxia, can you beat this?"

Kanu said...

Agreed on all counts, and you even channeled your inner swami abut Miguel, one of the features of the next post.

Hard to see anyone even coming close to CR for the Golden Greg Louganis Award to be presented Sunday Night at the Dodgy At Best World Cup Awards Ceremony.

Ballack must have thought he was a cinch for it after his 3 dive performance in the Argentina match, but little did he know that he would finish a clear 2nd.

nerazzurri said...

But when Henry does it, its heady. Come on. They all dive. C Ronaldo is a punk who needs to grow up - no argument there. But to me its all a big four-way tie for last with Henry, half the Italian squad, and Ballack.

And I see Sunday's final as a dive-fest in the beginning. Whatever team cons the ref into an early PK will then go into a shell and play 11 men within 40 yards of their own goal for the rest of the match. That's the problem with Joga Bonito - no matter how skilled the players or fluid the play, it's always killed in the World Cup by teams like France, Italy and Germany who sink back into the box and try to spring one successful counter attack. They'd rather limp their way to a penalty shoot-out rather than take their chances matching skill player for player. Its like Big 10 football. Its like a team that intentionally walks Barry Bonds every at-bat. Its like the old grabbing and checking hockey in the NHL. To hell with style. Just kick the shit out the ball, play strong defense and wait for the other team to make a mistake. It may work once in a while but it sure ain't fun to watch. Not expecting too much from this final. I'd say the over/under on goals is 1.

DC Trojan said...

Now you've done it -- fans of Engerland will be lining up to post on here about how Rooney was just catching his balance and if Carvalho had been hit in the balls he'd still be lying on the ground etc., etc., etc.

Nicole said...

I fail to understand the argument "they all dive" as a justification for the fact that diving happens. Hell, that's how slavery, apartheid and segregation lasted so long.

Ok, I'm being a smartass, but honestly, no matter what has been said or written about diving, someone says that everyone does it, as if that somehow justifies the whole situation.

As far as I'm concerned, CR is like a double letter athlete, except he's doing it all in one season.

The diving is an issue for me. It makes me have no respect for Italy, so I don't want to cheer for them. But if Italy wins it all, the US gets some acclaim by association.

Kanu said...

NA- I can't argue with the others, but Henry is not a diver. We covered that here in the comments section:

I am not excusing what he did with Puyol at all. It was embarassing. But it was a one-off, and had alot to do with perceived hacking of him and simulation in the CL final by Puyol as well as not being above taking the piss on Aragones for the racist comment thing. Maybe Henry was thinking of this from the CL final, where he brushed Puyol high in the chest and Puyol dramatically grabbed his face with both hands:

... thinking "it's payback time, motherfucker".

Anyhow, I'm just saying it is a one off. Dude is widely known to NOT be a diver, and actually respected as such in England, whereas CR, Ballack, and the Italian team (the other 3 you mentioned) are serial offenders, along with RVN and Drogba.

Again, I am not excusing TH12's behavior in that incident, because there is no defense for it. But I am getting tired of lots of people piling on and acting like he is no different that all of the others mentioned. He is very different than the others indeed.

Kanu said...


Excellent point about the US earnning a draw with Italy playing 9 v 10. I had actually been thinking this for the last 2 matches but hadn't managed to work it in here. Even if Italy are the runners up it shows what a fine line there is beteen hailing a team as a massive success and ripping them apart as a massive failure.

*I am NOT saying that criticism of the US is without merit, because it totally is. Hell, 4 shots on goal in 3 matches just doesn't cut it at the highest level. I'm just saying that the line between success and failure in a tournament like this is extremely fine, especially in what turned out to be, without question, the group of death.

nerazzurri said...

He is very different than the others indeed.

Yes he is. He plays for Arsenal, the others play for Chelsea or ManU.

Anonymous said...

"Does anybody find it ironic how heavily Cristiano Ronaldo is featured in Nike's Joga Bonito ads?"

He's pretty.

Kanu said...


That is a pretty weak line of argument. If I was on here saying that Robert Pires never went to ground easily then you could use that line, but as is it's pretty damn weak.

Instead you might try finding 1 other example of Henry diving, or perhaps attempt to refute my claim and the commonly held belief that CR, RVN, Ballack, & Drogba are serial divers.

And don't come back with being moody, sulking and whining when things don't go his way on the field, because that has nothing to do with diving & simulation.

nerazzurri said...

Wins a free kick with an obvious dive to set up the winning goal against Spain in the Round of 16. Goes down easy (more overacting than diving) for the game winning PK against Portugal in the semis. He's not in the class of a C-Ron or RVN. But his well-timed antics have helped his team tremendously during this world cup.

But lets talk about something else. Like how drawing a penalty kick equates to supporting slavery or apartheid. Nicole?

Kanu said...

Sorry to harp again but 2 things:

1) Are you alleging that Puyol dod not foul Henry? If so, then you and Michael over at Braves and Birds seem to be all alone in this assertion - I have not seen it anywhere else. Puyol clearly fouled Henry, not just by hitting him in the chest but by cutting him off an obstructing him. Henry's antics got Putol the card, but there still was a fould and would have been a free kcik even without them, so it is very wrong to say that what Henry did led to the goal - it absolutely did not. Puyol's foul on Henry led to the free kick which led to the goal. Henry's BS was gravy.

2) Henry didn't dive on the PK. Yes he went to ground, but he was clearly tripped. Watch the replay again and notice the important part. After the contact, he goes down and then immediately makes an effort to get back up, whereas a true diver like CR, RVN, POrtugal, Drogba, etc would have stayed on the ground and rolled around in faux-agony. Henry made a clear effor to get back up, which is not what a diver does.

OK, now you and Nicole can get into socio-political-philosophy.