Sunday, January 21, 2007

Damn Gators Everywhere. Perhaps Doug Is Right...

... and the Gators really have become our overlords. I sure have been experiencing that lately, and sadly Steve Irwin is no longer around to fight them off:

We all know about the national championship in men's basketball, them beating us for the 15th time in 17 years in football, and then going on to win the national title in football by completely dominating the #1 team in the land, thereby becoming the first school ever to hold the two "major" mens titles concurrently. Then to add insult embarrassment to injury some total dipshit Republican congressman from GA refuses to vote for a House resolution congratulating the Gators on their football national championship - as much as the inner Gator-hater in all of us thought for a moment that it was cool, in reality it was classless and makes UGA look silly in the eye of neutral fans, especially vis-a-vis those damn Gators.

OK, fine: we are all trying to work through these realities in our own way. I already noted that I have it easy since I live in SF, which is a solid 2,000 miles away from the area where I would run into Gators all the time and/or be reminded of their superiority to us in other ways. Or so I thought...

Before the BCS Champiojnship Game (actually the day of the Dawgs bowl game) I played golf out here with my Dad and a friend of his. As we had only three we were paired up with a single, as is customary. First tee, dude has a Florida Gator golf towel hanging on his golf bag. I ask him about it and sure enough dude is a Gator. I'm thinking - "shit, this is the Bay Area, come on" (he was actually a very nice guy and we all enjoyed his company).

A few days after the Gators won the national title, I was thinking, "OK, I have dealt with this, I'm fine with it, I'm just glad that I won't really have to think about it too much for another 8 months". Then the last two Sundays as I watch my beloved Patriots try to march to another Super Bowl, there's Gators kicking ass all over the place. On MY team.

These jokers succeeding generates 2 very conflicting emotions

Even worse, MY team the last several years has had a shitload of Bulldogs on it, which made watching and rooting for them even better: Richard Seymour, Ben Watson, Patrick Pass, Jermaine Wiggins, even Robert Edwards. Now every good thing that happens for the Pats seems to be via Reche Caldwell and Jabar Gaffney, former Bulldog-destroying Gator stars both. Last week was as bad as it could get - these two had huge huge huge games, while Ben Watson caught nothing (mostly because T Brady was mysteriously throwing at his feet, but I digress). I am extremely pleased that the Pats managed to beat the Chargers, but I was thinking "Shit, man, I can't get away from these damn Gators - they're everywhere."

But today takes the cake. I was hiking up in Marin, and this dude comes walking down the trail towards me wearing a gray T-shirt with GEORGIA in big block letters on it - you know, the old school, timeless plain one at all the book stores in Athens. In Atlanta or even throughout the South, I wouldn't think twice when I saw a dude in such a shirt, but out here in SF it is once in a blue moon that I see anyone in Georgia gear, so I always make a point to chat them up, ask them if they are in fact a Georgia Bulldog (alum), etc.

Always cool to see this so far from Athens. Or is it?

So we get closer to each other and I see the shirt and I'm thinking - "hell yeah! A fellow Dawg" and feeling pretty good. Then this conversation takes place:

Kanu: "Nice shirt man. Are you a Georgia Bulldog?"
Dude: "No, actually a friend gave me this shirt."
Kanu: "That's cool. I'm a Georgia Bulldog so I was digging the shirt"
Dude: "Oh. I went to Florida."
Kanu: "Really? You're a Gator?"
Dude: "Yeah"

I then joked to him that they were our Daddy, and I congratulated him on the national title, we went our respective ways, and that was that. Dude was cool as well, but sweet Jesus, I mean what the fuck? It's tough enough that the Gators are here, there, and everywhere lately, but now dudes I think are Bulldogs turn out to be Gators too? Damn, that is pretty crazy, especially when you factor in that I am no less than 2555 miles from Athens, GA.

Are these fuckers going to start haunting my dreams?

So all of this makes me pretty sure that the Patriots will win tomorrow with Gaffney & Caldwell having huge games, and also that the Bears will beat the Saints behind a for-the-ages heroic performance from former Gator and current Bear QB Rex Grossman.

Will this madness ever end?


nerazzurri said...

Don't forget that World Series MVP David Eckstein is a Gator. And didn't Thierry Henry play a season in Gainesville before transferring to the EPL?

But the real question is how in the hell could a Gator be caught wearing a Georgia shirt? No offense, but I wouldn't wear that shit even if it were layered with asbestos and I was heading into the Towering Inferno.

Kanu said...

I can respect that dude - no offense taken at all.

Yeah, the whole episode was rather bizarre.

Kenny said...

I loved this post, but I agree with the other guy... What "Gator" would be caught dead in a Dawgs tee anywhere at all? The only time I might consider it -might- would be if I had to choose between wearing a Dawgs shirt, a Noles shirt or having a hole blown in my head. I'm severely allergic to bullets, I break out in hives just passing Tallhassee on I-10, but I do at least respect UGA as a member of the SEC. That said, I would still have to think really hard about it...

Anonymous said...

I sure as hell wouldn't be caught in a Georgia shirt. Funny thing though. While reading this. I was expecting the Gator fan to turn around and have the words "Sucks" pasted on the back. Sure would have made the story even better.